they are bound to happen as sys. so called is changing.girls are financially independant and their carreer's are more important to them.They cannot prefer less paid husband so the compition goes on they want children but not ready to accept duties of mother so the fights start.My advice is no girl with carrer in mind should get married.
RE:Divorce in India
by Surekha bapat on Aug 09, 2007 11:51 PM Permalink
to Kishore on congrtulating me.You are not seem to be with todays generation and do not know the views todays girls pass on If you come accros and had a chance to face that you will come to know real situation thanks and goodluck
RE:Divorce in India
by divya punj on Aug 20, 2007 11:15 PM Permalink
I dont see any point in this whole discussion. We marry the wrong person and then we are unhappy hence we divorce.
If were would marry someone who we loved a lot or liked a lot we would put in efforts to make the relationship special. Incase we are not then we know its not about working long hours or anything .. its just that we did not make an effort at all. We are married to a person we did not want to be married in the first place.
RE:RE:Divorce in India
by Surekha bapat on Aug 21, 2007 11:05 PM Permalink
so get marry and divorce and earn handsome money as alimony as Indian laws favors ladies and recently I heard stories of moms and daughter do this business to earn money
RE:Divorce in India
by anjali on Aug 22, 2007 03:19 AM Permalink
Everyone has a right to express their opinion surekha. you dont have to be so rude to divya. You expect everyone to say yes and confirm to your views but refuse to even listen to other person. I dont know why you are so full of hatred.Seriously, as Garima aptly stated, its Mothers in law like you who cause homes to brake.
RE:Divorce in India
by Surekha bapat on Aug 22, 2007 11:05 PM Permalink
and rightfully mother-in-law like you are saving marriages so best of luck for you and advocte your views and do good to community
RE:Divorce in India
by anjali on Aug 24, 2007 02:42 AM Permalink
Well thanks surekha! and best of luck to you and your community too for not continuing to spit venom and getting some sense in your head!!
RE:Divorce in India
by anjali on Aug 25, 2007 06:11 AM Permalink
My my Sureka, you really seem to be concerned, advising to be careful and wishing good luck! Well, dont you bother, your venom wont affect me , but it ll come back to you one day!
RE:Divorce in India
by simha chalam on Aug 09, 2007 07:36 AM Permalink
In that case, search richer guys b4 itself, rather than marry thses ppl, later U go to work & strain Urself and finally break the realNship. All this drama by ladies is nothing but inventing the western culture==> changing the sytem as & when the configuration is found better.
RE:RE:Divorce in India
by anjali on Aug 09, 2007 09:01 PM Permalink
Very stupid comments by Surekha and Simha. You should come up with some constructive solutions rather than chastising female gender and western values. Every generation and Time has its problems, and people who are really worried about the future generations and families come up with solutios rather than stupid criticism!
RE:RE:RE:Divorce in India
by Surekha bapat on Aug 09, 2007 11:54 PM Permalink
to Anjali It seems that you are partly agree with me Can you please tell me the solutions I am looking forward to it
RE:Divorce in India
by anjali on Aug 10, 2007 12:37 AM Permalink
Surekha I dont agree with you. You are blaming career oriented girls for higher divorce rates.Women cant accept lesser paid husbands because they are mocked by the so called Confirmists(like you?) And women who have jobs do compromise careers for the sake of motherhood. Most of them do it. There are irresponsibles ones, I agree. But an irresponsible mother doesnt necessarily have to be one who is independent and career oriented, it can be a housewife too. I think Indian women's change is much more rapid than men and men dont seem to be catching up that quickly.It will take time to adjust to the new social changes. There is nothing wrong with career oriented women, we just have to be more understanding and accepting. Women should not flaunt their independence or be arrogant about it and men should also understand that women also are human beings who have potential to exceed at professional front also. Hope this makes my point clear to you.
RE:Divorce in India
by Surekha bapat on Aug 16, 2007 11:03 AM Permalink
Anjaliji every coin have two sides so do not think from your perspective It implies for felxibility also.
RE:RE:Divorce in India
by anjali on Aug 16, 2007 11:14 PM Permalink
Yes i agree , every coin has 2 sides. Well you read Garima's comment below on this page. She has said it all which i wanted to stay. Hope you do see 2 sides clearly.
RE:Divorce in India
by anjali on Aug 16, 2007 11:36 PM Permalink
Hope you are able to see both sides clearly and change your intolerant attitude to a more flexible one surekha.
RE:RE:Divorce in India
by d dixit on Aug 10, 2007 03:22 PM Permalink
Ya Anjali u r absolutely right. womens are changing at much faster rate then men. But u know they r changing in wrong way adopting western culture, I won%u2019t consider it as a good sign of changing. A change which do not affect ur social value, ur moral value, ur family value, ur attitide should be consider as a good sign of change. I would say most of the women are fickle minded. They changed very frequently. We men r not like that.
Ya u r right, we men r not changing quickly, we r still following our old tradition of Indian values. Even though we r working in MNC's going abroad, but still where ever we see temple we boa our head. Still worried abt our sisters marrage, worried abt our career growth and abt our parents happiness. Yes we men r still the same.
U go ahead break all the rules that till now society has imposed on u, tell them ur ancestors are fools they have imposed lots of restriction on u. And u have emerged to break all those rules. Achieve ur success at any cost.
RE:RE:RE:Divorce in India
by anjali on Aug 10, 2007 09:49 PM Permalink
Well dilip, to you i ll say that today's independent woman still bows the head in front of the temple ( women have always been more religious than men and still are). what they dont want to accept is the inequality in traditional family roles which was there.To depend on a husband all the time for each and every small thing, to suffer at the hands of in laws, to forget one's own desire completely and live like a slave! Yeah thats was today's woman is against. If you are against it then you and all the ones like you have a problem.You never had any rules and now when the woman does the same thing, you feel the pain!You hypocrite!
RE:Divorce in India
by anjali on Aug 15, 2007 05:14 AM Permalink
Well Sureka, first maybe you should get your statistics right and then ask others to put forward theirs. Maybe you should be a little flexible in your approach and ask YOUR womenkind to be more flexible. Will be much helpful to you!
RE:Divorce in India
by SYDNEY PINTO on Aug 10, 2007 11:22 AM Permalink
I believe We got 2 Practice the Aspects of Forgiving for what Each One is. It is a Difficult World we stay. But it is the Same world R Parents have lived successfully. R Parents faced the Same Trauma, but they had to Be Financially Dependent on other person, whereas the Independence in Money by Either person has Led to this Fracas. A Diction saying "A Family That Prays together stays together" works even today. I think both the Partners have to do that together before going to Sleep and in every Work we do, if Possible. R Parents out of the Hard Lives to Bring Us UP has Given us the Best of Life. But They Have forgotten to teach us to Struggle in Life and appreciate the Difficult things in Life so as to Respect Marital Discords on a Daily Basis. That is where the Problem is.So We got to share this and Help Each Other in this Front.God Bless.
RE:Divorce in India
by Surekha bapat on Aug 11, 2007 12:23 AM Permalink
anjali seems to be women liberalization head.ok she wants to change the sys.she has soultions.she should now take a survey and find out statiticks and prove her point It will be more useful to change the mind of her other women folks
RE:Divorce in India
by Bal on Aug 12, 2007 03:13 AM Permalink
I agree... who is ready to listen to all these.
where is the solution?
What culture we have in India? No one has explained. To me one thing i know... eveypne can have 10 children...
We should take good from the west and lets leave the bad ones.
Unfortunately, we take only bad ones.
Parents should take responsibily for this crap. I am in Uk and i see the married indian couples whi come here from very small villages. Once they come here touch down in a foreign land, they feel asif they are forigners. Thye wear a ugly jeans, skirt, these plp have such a bad figure to wear all these... most are from IT.
Girls are worst, their hubby also play a big part.
Seriously durty dress.
But their inlaws back home in india will be talking abt culture...
RE:Divorce in India
by Surekha bapat on Aug 12, 2007 12:18 PM Permalink
To bal what you want to tell everybody? here point of discussion is about Divorce not for who wears what!In India also girls wear funny dresses.so no wonder when they land in foreign country, they ought to wear crazy dresses.culture should come by act of dignity,resposibility and loyalty which parents and school's should teach to todays generation.only producing 10 childrn is of no use.
RE:Divorce in India
by prajwala tatte on Aug 10, 2007 12:29 PM Permalink
I agree with Anjali. Men are not ready to change themselves. Male chauvanism is the major hurdle in the happy marraige. Also non compatibility. Caste is preferred over abilities and intellectual-emotional tuning.Look at the matrimonials and see what is the % of 'caste no bar' or 'some perticular caste need not apply' kind of ads. Long working hours is also a important factor.
RE:Divorce in India
by sharad sing on Sep 03, 2007 07:28 PM Permalink
Yes Prajwala i agree with u .Men do not want to change,.But all ways u should not think of your self.both should change ,are you happy with no adjustment,is your counter part happy.Check your self
