one of the major reasons for divorse in india is too much of intereference in newly married couples by the mother of spouse.In India.daughter goes to boy's house after marriage and she is expected to adopt to the culture of the family.This aspect is not inculcated by mother of the bride and the friction starts.This is due to one child policy adopted volunteryly for last 20/25 years With so many cases of single daughter's mothers interfearance i have seen among friends, I have decided to prefer a match for my son who has a brother and sombody elses daughter is coming to their house or already is there This way mothers will know how to behave with daughter or daughtr in law I am aware also that marriages are broken if couples are staying separately and the reasons discussed One thing is so far certain that woman only can give birth to a child and has a different role to play in married life.They mould the culture for the child and the child is brought up. I have also seen a couple, where the husband left his job, allowing his wife to pursue her career. he not only taught the children,who are now highly educated, and he did all the household work Today how many girls are ready to marry a boy who is less educated and earns less? I have not seen any adv. in matrimonials any girl ready to accept such husband In short a woman makes or breaks family
RE:Divorse in India
by Garima on Aug 12, 2007 07:28 PM Permalink
Surekhaji,
Looks to me you are the interfering mother of the spouse - and if your dear darling son gets divorced it will be because of you. Your comment "I have decided for my son ..... " is pathetic. Do you know what your son wants ? Or are you too self absorbed to care for your son's happiness.
MIL's like you are the ones who cause divorce - expecting a girl to come to your house and instantly adjust. When you are looking forward to be a constanr factor in your son's life, why should the mother of a girl not look forward to this pleasure. It is people like you - who expect daughter's to forget their natal families, that cause friction. It is people like you, that make couples not desire daughters, as they realize it is ok culturally to hang on their sons, but not their daughters.
My advise - learn to let go of your children, let them live their life. They will still love you and cherish you, and look after you. A mother's love should not be so selfish, that she cannot accept her son's happiness, unless she is a crucial part of his life even after marriage.
I hope many years from now, when my daughter looks for a spouse, she finds a man who loves her unconditionally for who she is, and supports her aspirations, and vice versa, my daughter does the same too for her spouse. That is true love. I hope the same for my son too. And if I interfere in my son's life, I hope my son is man enough to tell me to back off . That will be the day I will be proud to have raised a
RE:Divorse in India
by jyotsna agrawal on Aug 15, 2007 02:43 PM Permalink
very well said Garima and Anjali! Rarely any one with thinking mind and self-introspection writes a comment here. I congratulate you both. most of the people here are writing the easiest and one sided story for them, as MIL, as Man...etc. I was given up after birth because i was a girl child. And my adoptee parents gave me freedom to grow. and i am their only child. My husband had problems with them and his love seemed so weak that he could not include them in his love while expecting me to love his entire extended family. Now I am on my own, back to college and studying!
RE:Divorse in India
by Surekha bapat on Aug 21, 2007 10:55 PM Permalink
good Jyotsna that you are free.You are also looking from your perspective.one sided story you feel but your story for me also look like from your side It is natural that one say his or her story from their experience.The maturity comes from showing comprmise by both sexes.After all marriage is a lottery.
RE:Divorse in India
by anjali on Aug 22, 2007 03:21 AM Permalink
yeah u r rite Marriage is a lottery. It ll be surely a a bad lottery for your daughter in law Surekha!
RE:Divorse in India
by Surekha bapat on Aug 22, 2007 10:58 PM Permalink
and good lottery for your son-in law.After all son-in-law is a god send son to be
RE:Divorse in India
by anjali on Aug 24, 2007 02:44 AM Permalink
Sure surekha, he ll have a good lottery. Hope you are around to see that! but you surely will give a bad lottery to your daughter/son in law!
RE:Divorse in India
by simha chalam on Aug 09, 2007 07:39 AM Permalink
very well sd.,it's uto the woman to 'make' or 'break' the fmly. Also these days in most case the parental interference is much.. resulting to this havoc., esp from the girls' side
