for all the love and attention that parents show towards their kids in India kids somehow become disoriented when they stand up on their own legs. its pathetic to see the Indian culture deteriorate at the rate it is deteriorating now.
I am guilty of running away from my home. Its not that I wanted to come to US but I just could'nt figure out how to react to my dad's oldage. He became grumpy and never listned to anyone. He became an impossibly difficult person, shouting at us all the time, demanding attention each minute of every day. He wanted people to sympathize with him all the time and his medical condition made the situation even worse. I left everything on my mother's shoulders ran away from my responsibilities. I hope nobody has to face such a situation in their lives.
RE:I am guilty
by on Mar 30, 2007 10:07 AM Permalink
I would like to say ur not guilty, if when u were a small kid u didn't ask attention, u didn't want new dress for ur friend had one, u didn't want good food at school because ur friend have them, u didn't want a bike/cycle for ur friend have one, if u had not a fever and ur mom & dad didn't sleep looking after you. Son, if u did not have all this then ur not guilty.
RE:India's 1-2 children policy and Laws of Probability
by on Mar 19, 2007 07:13 PM Permalink
I agree with you, also in old ages, marriage was done very early for the wife to realise any difference. But now the lady earns and wants the same treatment, food etc in the house. If you live in a house where sons get however much they want to eat and left overs - very little for the wife - should the wife continue this absue?
creation of this old age homes and thinks like that for the purpose of earning money from the public is the cause for many children abondening their parents. all this service institutions should sreve quitely if they can or shut their homes so that the children will take care of their parents because the parents has looked after them when they are young. i thing the problems will be less if the girl child look after her parents during their old age than looking after her inlaws.
RE:old age homes
by ramprasad on Mar 15, 2007 10:37 AM Permalink
LOVE YOUR NEIBOUR AS YUO LOVE YOU JESUS CHRIST SAID THIS AS PER THE BIBLE. IF A CHILD SON OR DAUGHTER IN LAW CANNOT LOVE THEIR PARENTS HOW CAN WE EXPECT THEM LOVE OTHERS FOR A HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS SOCITY BUILDING
RE:old age homes
by nadia sani on Mar 16, 2007 08:17 PM Permalink
The home was started because old people, women in this case were being abbandoned. Ms.Savithri Vaithi is a goldhearted person who has given so much to those who have or cannot have that peace of a home. Did you read that those abbandoning their parents state they do not have any omney to support them? Where are these homes making money? They should be supported strongly with donations and active help by the society, not closed by people like you who seem unable to use their common sense and with narrow minds.
RE:old age homes
by Murali Krishna Guntakal on Mar 29, 2007 01:57 PM Permalink
Well said Nadia. May be Mr.Ram Prasad thinks sleeping with wife is saving money. Mr.Ram Children are born out of love not money. You might have never had a chance to type those shit words on this website. You would be lying on foot path. Have some basic sense before you blab something.
RE:old age homes
by JD on Mar 28, 2007 02:39 AM Permalink
"if the girl child look after her parents during their old age than looking after her inlaws"... This s Sheer nonsense. Kind of MCP
Living in the fast life, it s very difficult to think about our parents.... But we seldom forget that, our day to old age is not faar...So we do, so we reap... In my very life, was forced to choose between my spouse and parent... Although very difficult,I chose both. I faced lots of trouble, but in the end I am successful and can look into my eyes and dont have to feel guilty....
First of all, I m shocked and astounded by the comments made here. Our parents raise us, provide us with everything from food and give us love and caring. Your wife/ husband might cheat on you or betray you but your paretns will never be able to.. And when they are old, when they need their kids.. their family..we send them away- or we blame them for the fact that we cannot handle them?? They are supposed to live quietly and subdue to their kids? I agree that with more people in the house, there will be conflicts but what household does not have that?!?! These days even a 10 year old does not get along with their parents.. THe key is to resolve the conflicts and move on. THAT IS LIFE!!! and what is this stuff about indians living in a fast paced india with no time for culture and repsonsiblities. I live in america and I see waht culture they have. All of these people are alone, they dont even know what the concept of family is, the concept of brothers and sisters and cousins and relatives. WE have that in our culture and we ignore it??!?!??! yeah we are in a fast paced world but never forget your roots becasue without roots you will be left alone in this world and our roots are from our parents! And one day the ppl who abandon their parents will grow old too and when their kids abandon them- they will know how it feels...
These problem don't occur onesidedly and so the solution also needs to come from both the sides nd above all... the basic attitude towards life needs to be changed... Every person has to go through all the phases of life so to lead a cool and calm life each indivisual has to avoid thoughts like i'm the only one who adjusts to elders and youngsters both... my life is of a prisoner if i have to listen someone elder or younger.... and lots of other such stuff... We lead all our life doing what we like and as we like and obviously elders are neglected in this process and then comes the phase when we are in their place and then we again find it tough to understand our children's problems and situations... the day to day increasing stress they are going through.... The only way out is to keep yourself active and engaged in any of your favourite activities... concentrate within your self till your last breath... my grandma is 85 today and i've also seen her grandma who died at the age of more than 120.... i never saw them feeling isolated or lonely ... they have been so active and my grandma has no time for us even today.... and all her children are so happy when she visits ant of them....
Couple of reasons why I feel such things happen: Agreed that people are selfish, but let us see the other side of the story
Elderly do not want give up their authority at home. They expect things to happen the same way as it was in their time (thought some of them might be meaningless now) and keep re-iterating that they are the boss. This might put off their kids.
Also as they keep themselves idle, all negative thoughts come to their mind. They don't contain these thoughts to themselves and show it on others.
My request to the elderly is to let their children, leave the responsibilities to their kids, just relax, play with grandchildren, go for walks, keep themselves busy to prevent negative thoughts coming in.
Most important let them think a lot before they speak (especially women) before talking anything negative. Good words spoken often can keep harmony at home.
RE:It is sad.. let us look at the other side of the story
by nadia sani on Mar 16, 2007 08:21 PM Permalink
It is easier to say than do. Old people feel terribly the loss of their status as being heads of families. If one does not respect their opinion, many times they are correct, they feel the need to give it whther you like it or not. Both young and old must learn harmony of living. The old have so much to tell of the past that India is rapidly losing and the west has lost ago. We learn all the worst aspects of life and forget to treasure our past.
I am crying..i have no words for these grannies... i will definetly contribute for these people...And also ask my friends to do this... Thanks for writing this article... But my prayer is, let the grannies children return and take back them to live with them happily...what else they need now?
Allah says there is Jannat beneath the foots of your mother and father is its gate, so dont ket the gate closed of Jannat and also never miss the opportunity to enter the Jannat. This is possible if we all will take proper care of them.After all every one has to die and if there is Dozakh and Jannat, those who dant look after there parents should understand that Jannat is not for them.
