Guys, I am an IT guy and i am in love with an IT girl, we are getting married shortly. I am scared after reading this. Please advice me how to live a successful married life.
RE:Advice....
by on Aug 03, 2007 12:22 AM Permalink
Guys, When someone is asking for some advice, please don't make fun. Rahul, this is my two cents. You may consider me old-fashioned but go for a match where the girl likes you without knowing what u r. In other words, go for an arranged marriage. If you are an IT guy, you don't have shortage of money. Go for a non-career oriented but educated girl. You will do wonders.
Even if you go for a love marriage, make sure you understand the expectations of your fiancee. Things change once you marry. Go for a girl who likes you unconditionally
RE:Advice....
by iq on Aug 03, 2007 12:16 AM Permalink
Stay trim, dont put on wait after eating your newly married wife cooking. Go to gym 3 days a week atleast. Brush your teeth before you make love.
RE:Advice....
by aconcernedreader on Aug 03, 2007 12:32 AM Permalink
Rahul The key to a good marriage irrespective is where you work is time. The IT companies in India expect you to dedicate their lives to them-but remember your company wont stand by you when you are old, when you are frail and when you need them most. Please treat your family as your number 1 priority and take time out to enjoy life. Dont think putting in long hours is the only way to rise-if you are truly productive you can finish work early and go home early. If however your company forces you to work like a slave..then quit. Its not worth slogging at the expense of your family.
RE:Advice....
by RamRamRam on Aug 03, 2007 12:48 AM Permalink
Wish you best of luck on your marriage. Choose the one from below which is good for you.
Working Spouse -------------- 1. You will have lot of money. 2. Tend to eat outside most of the time, which is not good for health. 3. No one to take care when both of you are tired after work. 4. Fights will end up bitterness as both of you not have patience after long working hours. 5.Your kids will go to day care and may not learn good habits, may loose family culture.
When you wife do not work ------------------------- 1. Limited amount of money 2. You do not spend un-necessarliy 3. Home made food with love always which is good for health. 4. Your wife will care you a lot, particularly when you worn out from office. 5. Will give nice advise and guide you in all ways of life. 6. Better Relation-ship and understanding as she is dependent on you. You should not misuse this. 7. You wife will not prolong any fight that may come. She will give up at the moment of fight and tell you what is your mistake at a later time. 8. You wife takes care of kids. She will nurture them with Family values. 9. Your wife will take care of your Parents too.
Dependency creates the need be togather all time. You are dependent on your wife abd your wife will be dependent on you.
RE:Advice....
by mr on Aug 03, 2007 12:13 AM Permalink
Understand your wife & give respect & take respect & enjoy. You will see lot of wonders. This Mr. has experience with a Mrs. Mr. So, do this please.
RE:Advice....
by priya james on Aug 03, 2007 12:36 AM Permalink
hi rahul as a married woman, this is my advice. share all responsiblities. do not think cooking, cleaning, washing is her job. always have bed coffee and dinner together, no matter how busy you guys are. talk to each other. weekends... strictly no work for both. encouarge at least one hobby. this WILL work.
RE:Advice....
by kumar on Aug 03, 2007 12:53 PM Permalink
It%u2019s Not the Size of the Dog in the Fight, It%u2019s the Size of the Fight in the Dog...
ofcourse 2 inch is definetly a no no! five inches is normal
RE:Advice....
by iq on Aug 03, 2007 12:12 AM Permalink
Where is your wife? Trust me... only the married men are interested in IT women for some fun. This is the truth
So, you are all thought marying a IT girl will bring you a better future!!! Guess What... You are wrong buddy. It is a free country. The women are liberated by economic conditions. So, you better start brushing your teeth. Make sure your wife likes what you do.
Marriage, According to me is a biggest event and most important phase of life. Which in India at least has been given more and more sanctity. I feel really sorry for those who think working can end in divorce. That means they want to bind relationships by making certain rules and no one seem to understand that, it is not the real relationship then. When two people have chosen to stay together by the boding called marriage, u have accepted each other with goods and bads of that. And working is a part of life. U don't stop studying because u have less time for u r parents. So after studies its just the work, which is part of life. I don't support those who get into extra marital relationship when they get to work, just because they had some misunderstandings with their respective spouses. Both of u keep doing your work try to share each phase of life ,(good/bad) of each other, be each other's support. If one wants to gets out of marriage in spite of this, its their choice, then its better it should happen now.
Some guys put hell lot of rules and expect their wives to follow it , and they are not ready for any of the rules of u r wife. Such marriages should end,(Pakistani marriages).Some guys are so nice they compliment their wives in a each and every way so nicely, still wives tend to get out of that marriage and tend to get attracted towards other men then such marriages should end too. So actually its not one reason why people are getting towards divorce.
RE:marriage/divorce?
by Desi on Aug 03, 2007 12:44 AM Permalink
Yours seems to be the only sane response to this article! Economic freedom and personal independence and lack of strong family values combined with liberal social outlook are most likely the cause of these breakdowns. As our society becomes more westernised, this is an eventuality that was bound to happen. Lets accept the bitter truth.
I strongly feel men must be the PRIMARY bread winners for the family , women must be PRIMARILY HOMEMAKERS. If women feel they have EXTRA time after serving husband and talking care of kids they can work. Carrier oriented women 90% fail in family life.
this is the fact
Men must muster courage and must sharpen their skills to earn money and run families single handedly, the day they sent women to work and enjoyeed their extra money that day gave way to these many problems
women understand -u are not designed to work like men and ur designed to be a homemaker. first take care of ur home then others.
Men its ur duty to earn and feed the family so do ur duty and love ur women.
RE:When man fails
by RamRamRam on Aug 03, 2007 12:14 AM Permalink
Very Well said. Women does not understand the difference between Real Freedom and Financial Freedom (Western Freedom). A Real Freedom is the one earned through better understanding with your spouse. A Financial Freedom is the one attained through higher education and work which may not yield good result when both are working.....
The India Modern Girls are brainwashed by western fanatics life style.
RE:RE:When man fails
by mr on Aug 03, 2007 12:22 AM Permalink
Think from your sisters point of view, you know the answer, now tell me? is it good girls educated or not.
RE:When man fails
by on Aug 03, 2007 12:23 AM Permalink
this is my two cents. You may consider me old-fashioned but go for a match where the girl likes you without knowing what u r. In other words, go for an arranged marriage. If you are an IT guy, you don't have shortage of money. Go for a non-career oriented but educated girl. You will do wonders.
Even if you go for a love marriage, make sure you understand the expectations of your fiancee. Things change once you marry. Go for a girl who likes you unconditionally
RE:When man fails
by Garima on Aug 03, 2007 01:01 AM Permalink
Mr. Joshua,
I am a working career oriented woman. And I have a wonderful husband who totally supports my career. We have been married for 5 years, and are very happy.
Anyway, my point is that you should not be close minded - somebody may not subscribe to your thinking, but still be perfectly happy. A marriage takes two to tango, both have to adjust. However,if you really think a woman should not work, then you should marry a girl who will stay at home - just make sure you have a great life insurance policy :-)
RE:When man fails
by priyanka singh on Aug 03, 2007 12:41 AM Permalink
You know what Joshua. You are totally wrong. Men are not the only bread winners. Infact there are men who are turning into full time dads and wives earning for the family. In my case me and my husband are from IT and he earns more than me but it is his choice of deciding to be a full time dad for few years. He is very supportive. Helps equally at home like sharing cooking, cleaning etc. Also he made me do my masters in US and used to be at college late nights and he used to be there to pick me up at right time. We have always managed to take out time and go for dinners, outings etc. Infact we try to pass all our free time together and we are so into this relationship that sometimes we dont feel the need of any friends. AND I am proud to say that my husband was ready to commit to me as I was to him. We both have made adjustments in life. And any successful marrigae needs the support of both husbnad and wife and not alone of wife. So better you guys understand this and try figuring to handle things and help your wives handle life if they at some points are failing to do so. Good luck to all.
This divorce rate is high among Telugus and Kongas. They come here to take part in our IT industry and then get into all sorts of trouble with their wife. They dont know how to manage time. Both should be kicked out of the state.
RE:This is not our problem
by Cricket s on Aug 03, 2007 12:05 AM Permalink
Who is Kongas? kick out of state? who are you to kick out an indian citizen out of his own country? get real man.
