Scene 1: Shahrukh rings the bell at Farha s house.
Farha: Shahrukh .....at this time,.....you look so depressed!
Shahrukh: I am worried so much. See FarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrHa ..... No matter how much I try, I can not change my monotonous style of acting. Nowadays even Kaan is complaining that I talk like a Bakri (baby Goat). I don't know how I will become a superstar.
Farha: Dont worry I am positive that your chak de will be a hit
Shahrukh: But there are so many hot chicks in that movie there will hardly be any spotlight on me.
Farha: Don't get depressed I will make a movie with you; it will be even more stupid than Main Hu Naa! We will torture Indians like never before. You have one months to get the six pack abs like Hrithik, okay?
Scene 2 SRK got his abs and the OSO shooting finished in no time. Shahrukh calls Farha on her personal cell.
Farha: Shahrukh I told you naa....Don't call me when I am on a holiday with my hubby.....whats the problem.
Shahrukh: FarrrrrrrrrrrrrrHa, FarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrHa I saw the movie while Shirish was editing. I looks so horrible.....even the six pack abs can not save me now. My face looks like a baby of Michael Jackson and Shakeela.
And again I must admit that I sound like a baby goat. I was hoping to get some money with sale of audio CDs.....but the music sucks big time. I am going to cancel the check given to Vishal-Shekhar.
Farha: Listen, we can not change things now. Lets try to fix this mess we created. Lets do a grandiose publicity every place we can imagine. We wont spare even the bus carrying criminals to the court.....that bus will also have a cutout of you and Deepika. You also do every damn publicity stunt possible. Even if the movie breaks even we are saved.
Shahrukh: Amen. I will give you a new Mercrrrrrrrrrrrrredez (oops that's a publicity stunt)
RE:SRK
by srk on Nov 03, 2007 10:04 AM Permalink
Arrey, Bongla, The biggest catch was Dhoni. I paid him handsomely fot it. Made up a story about Dhoni and Deepika and fed all the newswires including Rediff. Got some free pulicity for OSO. And Deepika and i had to sit thru the T20.
Bansali is scratching his head inside a bar in Bombay
Bhansali: Oh god only you know besides me that I can not make anything original. Every time I have to look for inspirations. Tell me where I can get inspiration this time.
Waiter: Sir, We have a genuine Russian Vodka on sale for this evening, would you like to try?
Bhansali: Man you made my day! I am going to get my inspiration from a Russian this time.
Scene 2
Bhansali inside Sony Pictures office
Bhansali : Sir I need shi_t load of money from you to make my film.
Sony executive : Who the hell are you?
Bhansali: Sir I am Bhansali from Bollywood. Last night I got an inspiration inside a bar and I want to make a movie now. I am famous director and with my movie Devdas I screwed up a great Indian classic, I have had French and other ventures like this as well.
Sony executive: Well, Mr. Bhansali this is not a way to ask money from a company famous in Hollywood. Where is your story/script etc etc.
Bhansali: Sir that%u2019s not a big deal at all. After I got high with Russian Vodka, I asked Prakash Kapadia to come to my house with some Russian literature. We added all the typical bollywood crap to that piece of literature and murdered it.
Sony executive: Tell me how you will spend all the money?
Bhansali: Sir first of all I will build the most expensive, gigantic and never before set with all that money.
Sony executive: Just the set! What about rest of the movie?
shahrukh has gone on to become the biggest copy cat in Indian films. Doesnt matter much bcoz he still has admirers for now. So i wish him all the best to be original and grateful
Bhansali: dont you worry sir, we will shoot the entire movie only in that gigantic set we will have. Sony executive: Who will be the lead actor?
Bhansali: It will be Ranbir Kapoor.
Sony executive: Who the hell is this, is he the father of that Kareena.
Bhansali: No Sir, that's Randir Kapoor. This is Ranbir, son of Rishi Kapoor take a look at his picture.
Sony executive: Oh my lord, he looks like a ......God save this world from the torture of Kapoors! Can't we give him the role of hero's best buddy or something like that?
Bhansali: Sir actually his Dad has promised me to sponsor the super expensive chandeliers that I badly need for my set. Further I have already signed the contract. Sir as long as he can act better than Fardeen Khan......oh.... and people are already talking about his bum.
Sony executive: Are we taking a big risk with you?
Bhansali: Sir please trust me, this is my childhood dream. I have surpassed all my previous inspirations with this. This time I got inspired even with my original inspirations and with this inspiration of my earlier inspirations I will merge the inspiration from other Bollywood crap to get another inspiration to inspire Indians and possibly rest of the world. We will call it super inspiration or Sawariya if you like. It will be the next Oscar Winner (starts dreaming)
Sony executive: What about music, I understand its very important component of a Bollywood movie.
