5. Women don%u2019t need training in domestic support, they simply need to change in their schedule that frees up time to do it 6. studies have shown that, especially when children are small, marriages are more successful when women work 20 hours or less every week because the working mother simply cannot meet her husband basic emotional need of domestic support when she works full time, take care of children and take care of husband.
This process saves marriages. the husband usually gains the domestic support from his wife and having lost resentment over previously unmet emotional need, helps out with greater enthusiasm.
2. Admiration-he needs her to be proud of him
%u2018Behind every man should be an admiring wife.%u2019 Man draws confidence from her admiration and support and can achieve far more with her encouragement. The admiration of wife depends on his ability to meet her emotional needs.
WOMEN find that their spouse fails to show family commitment and conversation
3. Affection &Conversation-are cement of a relation ship. Their need to women is so great, as great as men%u2019s need for sexual fulfillment
Wife: lets talk Husband: what would you like to talk about?
Its like Husband: lets make love Wife: why? We already have children?
Steps to fulfill women%u2019s need for conversation and family commitment 1. Men should set aside 15 hours a week to give their wives undivided attention.-the time people spend during the courting days. Affection &conver
1.Domestic bliss-every mans basic emotional need the male need for his wife to "take care of things%u201D is wide spread persistent and deep. so deep is husbands need for domestic support that he often FANTASIZES about how she will greet him lovingly at the door, about well behaved children, well maintained home, tasty dinner, its aroma already wafting through the air, conversation at dinner involves nothing controversial, later the family goes for an evening stroll ,and he returns and pits children to bed and he and his wife go to bed to make love, all at a reasonable hour.
In families where the wife has to work full time, the husband still wants to be cared the way described above. he may be willing to try to change but deep basic needs in men and women don't go away and they don't stop working and cry out for satisfaction.
For many men domestic support is one of the most important emotional needs and they feel greatest pleasure when the need is met. Therefore solving the domestic support dilemma can save many marriages.
steps 1.find out what he wants-remember its not popular for men to express a need for domestic support these days. 2.discover the types of domestic support that give him the most pleasure. these are not demands: they are simply ways that you could increase his feeling of romantic love for you. 3.with that in mind ,don't try to do every thing-only the domestic behaviors he appreciates the most. 4. the remaining hire somebody to do /or if you
There are 5 basic emotional needs of married men and women For MEN 1. An attractive spouse-He needs a good looking wife 2. Sexual fulfill ment 3. Recreatinal companionship-he needs her to be his play mate 4. Domestic support-he needs peace and quiet 5. Admiration-he needs her to be proud of him
For WOMEN 1. Affection 2. Conversation-ahe needs him to talk to her 3. Honesty and openness-she need to trust him totally 4. Financial support-she needs enough money to live comfortably 5. Family commitment-she needs him to be a good father
Marriage is a very special relationship. promises are made and each agrees %u201D to forsake all others%u201D giving the spouse exclusive right to meet the above intimate needs. These needs are so strong that when they are not met in marriage people are tempted to go outside marriage to satisfy them. But aside from the risk of an affair, important emotional needs should be met for the sake of care it self.
The main reason for the raising trend in divorc?n IT is the working out of hours (6.30pm to 8am on weekdays, and also the whole of weekends, Bank Holidays and public holidays)-hours which should be spent with the family.
Due to these hours both spouses fail to meet each others intimate needs.
Lets examine these in detail
MEN find that they lack domestic support, admiration
1.Domestic bliss-every mans basic emotional need the male need for his wife to "take care of things%u201D is wide spread p
It is my personal experience never ever marry an IT girl....they are good for nothing...they think of financial independence...and if u r planning to start a family life never ever would it be successful...apart for ur wife her parents also have a proudy attitude since they also depend on there daughter and add more chaois like a parasites.....
RE:IT girls never ever
by Raj Prakash on Aug 29, 2007 10:07 PM Permalink
I totally agree with you. Always it is better to marry a family oriented female than a career oriented female
The biggest problem that most Indians have is that they tend to go over the limits in aping the West. I live and work in The Netherlands. I see that the women here attach enormous importance to their families. Even for women who are working, they tend to stop after they have kids or switch to working part-time so that they can give enough time for their husband and kids. It is very easy to get carried away with sitcoms like 'Sex and the City' and believe that all women in the West fall into that bracket. In fact, I have seen 'modern' women here are much more committed in relationships than the so called 'modern' women back home in India. The Netherlands was voted as the country where children have the happiest chilhood among all Western nations and the reason cited was the large percentage of women who sacrifice their careers for their family. the so called 'career women' in India would never ever dream about doing this. They would also never accept working part-time as most mothers here prefer to do since that would mean that she is 'inferior' to her husband. After all it is a man's obligation to provide for his family but if a woman wants to work, she should only look at it as a contribution to her family's income from a second source. This is the law of nature. If the Indian 'career' women think that they want to defy it, they will also have to face the consequences of a disruptive and chaotic family lives.
RE:Over aping the West
by BHASKARAN GANESHAN on Aug 19, 2007 09:32 AM Permalink
The modern Indian women has been plaguing the Indian culture and Indian family life all of them belonging to the middle class and upper middle class. They have got used to frequent change in relationships and partners, all predominantly Hindus. So far Muslims are untouched by this immaturity and adultery in thinking but are not very off from the trend. Sania Mirza is the torch bearer to this. Very soon there could be massive change in their behavior too.
RE:Over aping the West
by asdf jkl on Aug 27, 2007 02:07 PM Permalink
Moosa Khan When did nature tell you that it natural for women to be at home and men to earn? This is all man made. You are so jealous of women empowrment. Why at any place only women are supposed to take care of the family and children and make sacrifice? Why children don't belong to the father? Why children carry father's surname? When you talk about responsibilities, its all on women but come Rights and its all fathers. Why are you people so Selfish? Why don't you think about women for once? Here the main cause of divorce is working hours and labour laws are to blame. You guys never miss a chance to blame women.A country where more than 50% of women are still illiterate,those literate hardly get to attend high school,mostly B.A. pass are all prepared to be house wives, those educate dand working leave their job for family and marriage.FYI all my colleaues in 40's had their wives working before marriage and now doing baby sitting. You are making fuss about educated and working women, a rarity. With your lovely thoughts about Indian women, be happy about those 60%illiterate women, those being married off with dowry, being burnt for dowry. Celebrate for the existence for young helpless widows dying of hunger in our villages, clap for baby girls killed even before their birth. If you are not satisfied with the heighest rate of crime against women in India, work towards promoting sexual harassment of women on public transports, rape, doemstic violence. Happy!!!!.
RE:Over aping the West
by MANMADA GURU on Aug 19, 2007 09:26 AM Permalink
Wonderful observation. Indian women do get carried away. To them earning is the means of all happiness and place it above family and kids. Absolultely shortsighted. The so called modern Indian women have more than one relationship at the same time. They think that is modernity. Rearing kids is too far off. They need material comforts and more and multiple sex . So for men who are on for look out frequent sex, instead of going to call girls are advised to join the High tech bandwagon.
Today Modern girls are too smart in all they do. they got everything in their hand which they deserved but it should be used in right sense and right proportion to control your life.And this is not just with women ,its men too but men are far better in this when compared to women.The problem arises only when the women empower and traumtise in all the possible ways.So womens should understand the responsiblities in family life which many of the young womens don't care.
the article seems to suggest that this problems occur with mostly non-IT spouses who r nt able to cope up with busy IT schedules of their partners.Alonwith the loneliness also comes the left back feeling .A more considerate view of the spouse from other background would help in curbing such issues.Also,a far mature n objective approach from the fairer sex is required who get carried away with new found money and independence
RE:a non-IT spouse--? the reason
by m s ganesh on Aug 17, 2007 08:57 PM Permalink
Financial independence of both the partners and PHYSICAL ATTRACTION at work place, ego of both the partners are contributing reasons I feel
RE:Female to accept the suprty of male and survive.
by VOICE on Aug 27, 2007 03:37 PM Permalink
Soni Methi is suffering from serious inferiority complex.
RE:Female to accept the suprty of male and survive.
by on Aug 20, 2007 01:10 AM Permalink
I disagree with this completely. I dont understand wat makes one sex superior over the other? Both are equal and the relation can be carried further if both understand eachother and the situation and accept the other person with all the short comes he or she have. No body is perfect so is she or he. It solves most of the problem if one accepts this and carry on with the life.
Better to start marrying from age 24-25 ..Marry beautifull working lady have good time for some 3-4 years ,any how chances of divorces are more nowadays so get divorced ...marry to another working beautifull and attractive lady and lets see how it goes but have some good time after marriage and finally when you are tired marry housewife......... What say?
RE:marry many times and enjoy
by flying on Aug 17, 2007 02:59 PM Permalink
If sense that marriage will not work properly enjoy her physically and then get divorced ....
RE:marry many times and enjoy
by sabu abraham on Aug 17, 2007 03:41 PM Permalink
dear Flying,what will be your opinion,if your father divorce your mother in your childhood time?
RE:marry many times and enjoy
by flying on Aug 18, 2007 07:33 PM Permalink
When working women dont have any problem with divorce so whats wrong if you used my theory ...
RE:marry many times and enjoy
by tejashwi mishra on Aug 25, 2007 11:51 PM Permalink
really,if working women hasn't any problem as they n their ally feminist claim dat women too not sufered by divorce ,we'r powerful enough to cope any crisis not just man can....due to ego with respect to man....just leave this discussion... flying is if not right then wrong too not...if women get divorce,man realy sud marry another beautiful working women,spent 3-4 years n then again divorce(as divorce is normal),bt in my view..MAN SUDN'T INITIATE DIVORCE.....a PERSON SUD DO THEIR DUTY WELL... I'm a self-confident IT man...n i m sure if i'll be in family life-cycle,i'll be like to hav v-gud familiar life same like as my parrents...bt if MY WIFE WILL INITIATE DIVORCE...then i really won be upset..instead marry another beautiful gal..instead a REAL MAN NEDNOT ANY WOMEN SUPPORT...a MAN R FULLY PERFECT,HE NEED JUST,WHICH CAN BE FULFILED ANYWHERE....HE CAN NEVER BE OLD... 3 thing which every man sud care... 1:-HEALTH(V-WELL)(DP YOGA,ZYM,PRANAYAM,CHANT NO WINE N SMOKING
2:-WEALTH(ALWYS KEEP HEFTY SUM)
3:-SUD HAV BROADER SENSE OF LIFE..MEASN TRY TO UNDERSTAND WAT THE LIFE IS...AFTER DAT WEN U'LL UNDERSTAND WAT THE LIFE IS THEN LIVE LIFE....LIFE IS NOT JUST WAT DESE DAYS LIVING.... ALL OTHER thing is just ok..... MAN IS MOST POWERFUL CREATURES OF THIS UNIVERSE...... although i respect women...bt i don hav any doubt that MAN IS SUPERIOR IN ALL SENSE... women can do only soft-core job..bt a MAN CAN DO BOTH SOFT,HARD WATEVE
