Some people here have misunderstood that if women have money and earn more than men, each one will want to divorce. It is neither the male ego nor the woman's money. It is a matter of choice - live together or live separately, which one is better? And sometimes situation becomes that it is better living separately than living a 24-hour figting union. For wives, who don't have financial freedom, it is not a choice, they have to cling to the man no matter what. They are a lot more submissive than financially sound women. They can take more crap from their husbands. We are yet to see more freedom for women where they can live a divorced life with dignity and a society where they are as acceptable as their male counterparts. Society has to mature a little bit to understand that a better life is all that people opt for. So, if they have chosen to be divorced, their lifestyles, differences and many more factors would have compelled them to do so for a better life. So, what is the big deal? Of course, no body married to divorce and no children would want their parents to divorce. I'm just saying that it is a situation based and we cannot just judge divorce as bad without knowing the situation.
Genetically a woman is stronger than a man and she is growing in stature academically , professionally & personally. Playing stupid is more difficult than acting intelligent. Yet the bottom line if she has to feel feminine she got to make a man feel he is a man. Financial independence .. is too surreal.. If the life has to have a bit of essence first build tolerance threshold , accept reality. Today a Man is under tremendous performance pressure from all quarters against prevailing environment ,Life style oriented problems and his Libido has taken a beating. Now it is for a woman to placate him with out making him feel the pressure to bring Life into Marriage. Else every thing material will be there in the house with out the essence of Life. The irony is now the onus is greater on a woman to make a Home , hold it in one piece and ensure their married life is full of Bliss. Women .. to understand is to accept. to understand is to pardon. Women rise to the occassion as you always have and dont feel subdued. Let the society not degenerate, let children get a better deal as in the past.
as IT people spend more time in their offices they are much touched with their office people, and fall in love, and here starts ex-marritial affairs. so divorce is natural. another point is nowadays females are doing much mere better than males they are not dependant on money of their husbands, so they also has their own dreams of comming forward in life, some males cannot bare that their wifes earning more salary then them, they are hurt by their male ego, and hence divorce is natural. some people gets no time to look after their family due to too much of work stress.
If the 2 parties involved are OK then why are you all so much worried. Come on guys, grow up and enjoy your life. If you believe that you can be happy with someone else for the rest of your life then so be it. Why to struggle with someone else and waste your life. My suggestions, think you have one life, work hard, play hard and take risks.
RE:Come on guys
by Heloi Manbi on Aug 03, 2007 11:24 AM Permalink
I don't know why many protest this comment. Life is the most important thing one has before one dies. Marriage is just one part of life, though an important one. But why should we allow marriage to spoil one's life. Life should be the first priority.
RE:Come on guys
by on Aug 03, 2007 12:55 PM Permalink
I agree with comments as mentioned above ...Life should be the first priority. My opinion is marriage should make life more beautiful..if u just continousely start hateing your spouse, after all counselling and efforts..there is no change in situation...divorse is a better option.
If financial freedom is the reason,Can with all the money in hand, a woamn can live alone all life? If yes, why victoria Becheham, Angelina Jolie...etc got married ?
RE:Divorce surge in bangalore
by Debashri Sengupta on Aug 06, 2007 07:39 PM Permalink
Have you tried living alone all your life? Why blame only women. Men and women are incomplete without each other. That is why, they married and try to lead a happy life with each other.
If we all listen to this... then we will have to work only from 8 to 6pm. If that happens and with the rising ruppee value, what will happen to the IT companies profits.
I mean will not their profit fall. Workimg from home and all is nonsense... because that will increase the cost to the employers as thye will have to provide facilities.
How selfish can these people get? Just for the sake of their personal life they will sacrifice the company.
Rediff pls do not publish such articles. This causes the employees to think in the wrong direction and make my job horrible. I don't want to stay beyond 5pm. Please get in touch after 10 am in office.
RE:Absolute crap
by shaker g on Aug 04, 2007 04:25 PM Permalink
HR manager are only preachers,since they don't face the other side of a coin. True,an employee is expected to deliver what is expected out of, thats what s/he is being PAID handsomely for (compared to other sectors). The point is that what is amount of time s/he spends 100% to deliver- apart from the time he "Chats- both on-line and on-tel". True,as s singh pointed out, that the HR-Mgr meets only for Appraisal. BALANCE- Time between Career & Life is the Key for success.
RE:Absolute crap
by cool guy on Aug 04, 2007 07:33 PM Permalink
HR Managers job is to preach,arrange parties and stuff.......but no poing in making HR ppl understand of employee needs ..........................bcoz it is difficult to make a person understand someting, if his SALARY depends on his not understanding it........
RE:Absolute crap
by jathin chakravarthy on Aug 03, 2007 09:59 AM Permalink
Always these HR persons will tel like.... for getting more profits... But think once wth our mindss If we work like means definitely we r loosing more and company will earn more. so Guys/Gals those r working in IT industry plz realize ur self and try to make a policy like strictly working hours will be from 9AM to 6PM. If it happens means definitely all will get happy ... and no worries as like....
RE:Absolute crap
by s singh on Aug 03, 2007 10:16 AM Permalink
HR is always Useless, No pressure except during appraisals, How can he ask not to publish, in the interest of mass its essential to take corrective steps, work life balance is must in case work is demanding more than 10 hrs , also , work from home option is good ....
RE:Absolute crap
by free mind on Aug 03, 2007 09:41 PM Permalink
Guys see this line - "Just for the sake of their personal life they will sacrifice the company. " Masood is trying to be sarcastic.... I liked it Masood
RE:Absolute crap
by ravi kant on Aug 03, 2007 10:56 AM Permalink
Dear HR Manager of a Leading Bangalore IT company.. from where have you got ur Degree.. have you joined your company with fake degree and exp. as it doesn't seem that you are aware of various HR issues... what's ur office timing. There r various companies from other sectors too which r dependent on US economies, they all are existing very well despite rising rupees. You IT guys enjoy your office timing. Tell honestly, what r the percentage of employees who really works. You do parties, chatting, gossiping in canteens. You do swimming, gym, playing games. You have various other things to do other than ur own work for which companies pay you. And at the late time, you guys realize, ohh I have got some work, work load is too much. Projects is to delivered. So, it will be late... And you HR guys.... Of no use..... Just look into yourself.... Wake up guys....
RE:Absolute crap
by Raghu on Aug 03, 2007 09:43 AM Permalink
As usual, useless HRs. Think from the broader perspective, patience and encourage discussion is the mantra of HR. Check his attitude and does not have any of the mentioned attributes.
Anyways, family is important and next the company in the priority order.
Coming late from office, used to junk food, less communication leading to misunderstandings, late issues in the excuse of family planning.. etc generally hurting the very balance of family life.
"Work from home" should be tried where possible with reliable employees. This saves travel time, energy and cost to company (every desk space charges is huge contrary to what our HR expert from leading IT company says)
RE:Absolute crap
by rishi on Aug 03, 2007 01:39 PM Permalink
u might be the HR manager of a company but u r a human after all u should know the values of life and please learn the reality before giving essays. i am also an hr manager from an organisation
This is something I feel that is unavoidable. It is up to the husband and wife to decide what is good for them and decide accordingly. I think before the spouses part their ways try to bridge short their differences and try saving their marriage.Divorce should always be their last choice.
Remember India is developing country and as individuals become financially stable these things tends to happen. It just that Indian middle class society should get accustomed to such changes in the society.
If women fell they are equals to men and compete with them ultimate loosers are the families to women I ask one question 1. Have u ever been a good wife 2. have u did ur duties as a mom
if u say yes -after examining ur selves then u can do work when u feel u have enough time left afer filling ur homlyduties.
for men
1.have u made ur women feel secure 2.do u respect her
pls examine ur selves in this fast running world its ur responsiblity to maintain a family and home jointly -DONT FORGET UR RESPONSIBLITY
RE:Man=women
by kumar on Aug 03, 2007 11:39 AM Permalink
I would agreee that a man had made his woman feel secure if he deposits half his earnings into her bank account and gives her the authority to spend as she wishes. Ofcourse wife has to contribute her half share to pay the bills.
I say this because there are a lot of MCP's and loosers out there who do not own their properties together with the wife.
The problem is with the indian work culture where people's time and personal lives are not respected. Add to this the infrastructure problems. Indians have absolutley no work-personal life balance. Indians neither work smart nor njoy their life. Whats the point in working like APJ Kalam for 18 hours a day? Its not a good thing. Take time off to smell the flowers and njoy your life. On your deathbed am sure you would not wish for more money but you would regreat those missed precious moments which are more valuable then money.
RE:maintain a balance
by mr on Aug 03, 2007 06:26 AM Permalink
In Infrastructure, we lag behind far when compared to other nations. For a good economy, infrastructure is very important. Infrastructure together with improvement in Power Sector refinement is the need of the hour. Thanks for reminding me.
RE:RE:maintain a balance
by mr on Aug 03, 2007 06:31 AM Permalink
Eventhough we have products or services, we need better infrastructure to deliver. You have pizza, but if you want to deliver it efficiently, you need good, not congested road, very good transportation mode. Like that in large scale, if we think, it is as important as the product itself. So, the Govt. should give more priority to infrastructure.
RE:maintain a balance
by mr on Aug 03, 2007 06:39 AM Permalink
Work hard in your younger age. When your older age, even if you think you want to work hard, your health won't allow you to work hard. Work Hard, I mean in the sense like "what ever your health allows". Work hard and make the country to grow more. When you work hard, no one will think you are cheating anybody. But if you don't work after getting salary, then only, one feel bad feeling. 9-5 or M-F & when situation demands 8-6 M-F.
RE:maintain a balance
by mr on Aug 03, 2007 06:58 AM Permalink
There is one stAGE, we can think that we can think about vacation w/ our hard earned money, then relax & enjoy. Also, we may or may not have luxury health care, luxury provident funds for normal private employees. So, it is youngesters responsibility to plan/earn for their future by working hard.
Like some reader suggested, we need guidelines and legislated acts that enforce a safe workplace both physical and emotional. We need to this to reduce risk.
Look at DuPont... Zero Incident Rate plus if an employee has emotional problems, HR considers this as their #1 priority. This is the Human Touch!
Look at: http://www.legislation.nsw.gov.au/fullhtml/inforce/act 40 2000 FIRST 0 N
and
http://www.legislation.nsw.gov.au/fullhtml/inforce/subordleg 648 2001 FIRST 0 N
