It's absolutly absurd in encouraging such relationship as I have seen many of my friends bedding many women in the name of live in relationship.As far as men are concerned these are just casual sex and there is no value to the relationship.And all my friends claim the opposite sex too don't end up with one or two.Then what do you call these relationship other than organised sex within a group of friends. Marriage is a commitment and there cannot be any two opinion on that or how can we describe the apalling situation like in the west.
RE:Live in Relationship
by Final Analysis on Aug 14, 2007 03:55 AM Permalink
Go easy on men.It takes two to tango.These women that men bed know exactly what they are going in for.So please spare me the feminist rant.
RE:Live in Relationship
by arun shekar on Jul 27, 2007 08:02 PM Permalink
Well you yourself said that your friends bed women in the name of live-in. Tell me something, if they are misusing the power and freedom to live-in with someone then something is wrong with their mentality or cohabiting with someone you like?? Like in the movie Spiderman, with more power comes more responsibility. Now if people misuse their power doesn't mean you will devoid them of their rights and power.
RE:Live in Relationship
by anil on Jul 28, 2007 06:08 PM Permalink
"Like in the movie Spiderman, with more power comes more responsibility. Now if people misuse their power doesn't mean you will devoid them of their rights and power " why quote a movie of westner why dont u be like Ram of india and stay wedded with one wife thats why he was called maryada purhottam== pursah uttam i.e. in manly the most ideal that also requires courage of conviction or say like his brother bharat who got the throne but inspite of that he waited for ram to take 14 yrs to throne and he didnt sit on throne
RE:Live in Relationship
by arun shekar on Jul 28, 2007 11:42 PM Permalink
Is there anything wrong being a westerner? aren't they humans?? are you any special?? are you too ashamed or egoistic to learn if someone else has to offer???
Relationship go with bond, give and take more than anything responsibility on each other. If it is a proper relation ship (legally bonded) They are answerable to each and everyone. There will be a social fear. The relationship of a Man and Women does not end with them, it continuous, What about their kids. This live in relationship is bullshit. And this is for Western opportunistic society not for our cultured society. If something happen they care only about themselves, least bother about others. We have orphans all around india, when we claim ourself cultured and if we allow this livein culture. We have to allot a state for the orphans. Be careful
"Live In"s are definitely better than love less marriages. People who oppose this on the basis of adultery fail to realise the fact that adultry happens even without Live in relationships.
Some elders in the society go really ballistic , what they dont seem to realise is that the there even elderly eople who enage in a live and for them it makes perfect sense...
Our laws of the land are governed by British/Europeon pattern of laws.Our cultural heritage is having no role to play in the long run. For example, legally parents or any close relations have no role to play in child!s marriaage. We can only delay the process of westernising India, cannot stop it.Due to enhencement in marriageable age and legal western type freedom to girls, cases of love marriage are in abundance, we are seldomly listening the cases of live in relationship, tomorrow, they may become common. This social change, India will have to accept in the present circumstances.
RE:Live in relationship
by arun shekar on Jul 27, 2007 06:59 PM Permalink
it is not about simply western laws blah blah blah. They are as humans as we are. the only difference is that their laws, science etc are more towards realizing human nature and creating atmosphere and social behaviour( which mostly make wrong use of) conducive to our existence but people here are not used to getting close contact with opp sex due to so called culture, religion and society etc etc. So what mostly guys and relatively less girls resort to??? they get a girl in confidence with all those mushy talks and when it comes to commitment, they bail out by giving silly excuses like horoscope, caste, income group, parents etc etc. If people are not educated socially along with book education, emotional scars are imminent. Regarding Live-in, it is all abt personal choice and the person you choose. Do not blame two persons wanting to live together with the wrong decisions you make by choosing the wrong person out of attraction both physically and emotionally rather than evaluating them first
RE:Live in relationship
by anil on Jul 28, 2007 06:10 PM Permalink
hallo mister the westerners are turning towards india like yoga etc realisng that live in is not helping as no commitment is there and thats why u may have seen newreports forigners interested in marrying indian girls as they are more faithful
in the entire discussion i feel that the whole matter is becoming too selfish. indian society is not based on selfish nature. it means we always think about our beloved persons. wether they are our parents, relatives or any dependants. thats where the problem comes. live-in couples are living with their parents ? not at all. they just live two of them. then what about the responsibilities of their parents ? and moreover what about children ? thats the main point where it becomes complicated thing. for how many years you will live just like that without having children ? because if they have it without marriage then the child doesn,t get any legal identity. 'family' is the power of our indian culture. thats our strength. western countries are now realizing it. nobody is perfect in this world, my dear. how many 'samples' do you want to test ? somewhere you have to zero. there are advantages & disadvantages of both. but marriages are making family institution which is healthy for society. live-in relations are breaking the families. now you have to decide wether you want to make or break ?
RE:live in relations
by arun shekar on Jul 27, 2007 07:11 PM Permalink
It is not necessary to have children as soon as you are living in or married. It depends on a couples emotional needs not society or culture or religion.
In 95% of the cases, parents satisfy their ego,needs etc through (mostly) sons and the girl he brings in and the family she hails from. So they are selfish.
You are talking about Western country realizing what?? India has one of the lowest Divorce rate but comparable infidelity rate and marital depression more than western countries. According to 2006 UN report, 1 out of 2 children in India is either abused physically or sexually . It is not west, come here to Malaysia, you will see people living freely the way they want and remind you, this is a Muslim country.
Of course those who live in simply out of attraction for a person physically or that they satisfy something they want is a terrible mistake unless they are extremely lucky.
Bottom line, Guys like you...Roam around with as many girls you can bait and hunt, then when the bells ring for marriage you leave them all by giving silly reasons and get married that slim, fair, tall girl preserving our great INDIAN Culture and honoring your parents...and those girls, what about them? who cares right?
Definitely live-in is a personal choice. Its a rare phenmenon 2day but will get common soon. Instead of criticising or ostrcising ppl opring for live-in, society should take care of educating the teens and the youth on these issues. Maturity and sense of responsibility is the need of the hour
RE:Are we mature enuf for live-ins ?
by arun shekar on Jul 27, 2007 06:45 PM Permalink
Yeap this is what i terribly see all around, people lacking maturity. They are sooo overly emotional in a stupid way. they will either hate you or love you die hard...it is all about striking a balance. Too much of anything is dangerous so is culture and religion. It is all about educating youngsters about different level of thinking, psychology of human behaviour etc etc, make them more aware of their surroundings or leaving many at the risk of being cheated emotionally which permanently changes a person for bad in many cases.
RE:Are we mature enuf for live-ins ?
by anil on Jul 28, 2007 06:13 PM Permalink
mt arun would you hve accepted ur parents were in live in relationships with other ppl before they came together and u were born after their marriage ? howw would u jhave felt can u enlighten me on this
Marriage is not only a relationship between two people it is between two families/groups. It is this feeling that enhances the feeling of happiness.
Moreover there is always some error resolving mechanism in form parents/relatives that keeps the couples intact. This should not be read as compulsion as in love you have to do compromises.
In live -in relationship this thing is missing so I believe that you can't really have a robust and prolonged relationship.
First of all, I%u2019m in a serious doubt as to why a sacred institution like marriage is losing its essence. Why people are failing to understand its relevance? Let me start by asking, what is the basic purpose of a live-in? Is it an emotional requirement or a physical requirement? If it%u2019s an emotional requirement, is live-in the only answer? Is it fair to say that just because you are low and in need of emotional support, you indulge in a live-in? If you ask me, there are umpteen ways to satisfy an emotional requirement, friends are the best example. Do you need to have a live-in with a friend to call him/her your friend or for them to live up to their responsibility and expectations? People are resorting to all sorts of lame excuses for resorting to the live-in practice but it certainly is not a necessity. If it is a physical requirement, then isn%u2019t it obvious that people with least control on their carnal urges/temptations go for live-ins? I belong to the community of people who believe that marriage is very sacred and holy and to have a successful marriage in every sense needs a lot of understanding, commitment, patience and perseverance. It is also a challenge to make marriage a success as it requires compromises, changes and a lot of sacrifice. People who fear and who cannot accept this challenge resort to things like live-in. I really pity those people who consider a live-in a brave act but according to me, it%u2019s the act of cowards who cannot live-up to challenges.
First of all, I%u2019m in a serious doubt as to why a sacred institution like marriage is losing its essence. Why people are failing to understand its relevance? Let me start by asking, what is the basic purpose of a live-in? Is it an emotional requirement or a physical requirement? If it%u2019s an emotional requirement, is live-in the only answer? Is it fair to say that just because you are low and in need of emotional support, you indulge in a live-in? If you ask me, there are umpteen ways to satisfy an emotional requirement, friends are the best example. Do you need to have a live-in with a friend to call him/her your friend or for them to live up to their responsibility and expectations? People are resorting to all sorts of lame excuses for resorting to the live-in practice but it certainly is not a necessity. If it is a physical requirement, then isn%u2019t it obvious that people with least control on their carnal urges/temptations go for live-ins? I belong to the community of people who believe that marriage is very sacred and holy and to have a successful marriage in every sense needs a lot of understanding, commitment, patience and perseverance. It is also a challenge to make marriage a success as it requires compromises, changes and a lot of sacrifice. People who fear and who cannot accept this challenge resort to things like live-in. Do people understand what it means to have a stable marriage and what benefits it can produce? Imagine the plight of the child who%
In a country like India, it is not a good practice like live-in relationship. Actually, these kind of relationships are the idea which crop up in the mind of mentally ill people. I ask them a question can they have live-in relationship with their son, daughter, mother, father etc. If these cannot be based on live-in relationships then how this can be reasonable to have live-in relationship with him/her. Actually, this is an illegal arrangment between the two to enjoy phisically and when their urges are fulfilled, they get separated. Relationship with opposite sex should not be merely for physical reasons, but it is a deep relationship of two souls which are made for each other and for the durability of this relationship TRUST is the main pillar on which the entire relationship is built. For example, if you establish live-in relationship with a girl who had already live-in relationship with another person and she separated from him after some time (when he fulfilled her physical urges from him) then how it is possible that she is trustworthy. Therefore, in my opinion, live-in relationships are not as per Hindustani culture and we should keep away from this type of system.
RE:LIve-in Relationship
by Anoop Wilson on Jul 21, 2008 04:52 PM Permalink
"In a country like India, it is not a good practice like live-in relationship. Actually, these kind of relationships are the idea which crop up in the mind of mentally ill people" My friend Anil Gogia. I dont think you under stand the concept correctly here , live in relationships ae for romantically entwined people. Now if you tell me if its reasonable to have live in relationships with your siblings and parents ( believe me this is known as INCEST and is very much a fact of life in India like Homosexuatlity just that i needs to come out of the closet).
"Actually, this is an illegal arrangment between the two to enjoy phisically and when their urges are fulfilled, they get separated" evere heard of term term mutually consenting adults ? , illegal or not let the country's leagl system define it - as of now it is not illegal.
"Trust" is the basis for any relationship for the matter even a live in relationship demands trust to a larger extend. I feel liveins demands more trust than a traditional marriage situation where in people are forced to stay together on the basis of commitments.
Talking about hindustani culture... dont you use forks and knives for having food in your office canteen ? Dont you make use of toilet paper even when you have water available ?
Culture my friend is dynamic you are referingto the Indian Culture decades ago, now dont you think there are a large number of love marriges happenings ? more inter religion wedding ?
