Before we get into the debate of live-in or tied, first we have to find out where in history the institution called "marriage" started. Before the advent of the British, quite a few socieities in India were practising polygamy and polyandry. So please don't chatter about our "glorious lineage". Prostitutes in ancient India were called Ganikas and were not looked down upon. Anyway, I can vouch that majority of those who go to prostitutes are married! What constitutes "marriage"? # Tying a "mangalsutra"? # Legal registration/commitment? # Religious ceremony? # Social certification/convenience? # Emotional and sentimental connotation? I fail to understand. Different people view it differently. And I keep wondering who "invented" this institution called marriage?
in my view nothing is wrong in such relationship.evry one has right to choose his/her life.if they are happey than why should it count to be wrong???? Go for your life ..........
RE:what is wrong??
by kapil sood on Jul 29, 2007 07:52 PM Permalink
It is a known fact that people who go in for liv-in relations are unsettled for most of their lives and remain isolated. It is rather a casual approach towards the life! In some ways it is used to hide unsuccessful bids to get married. Getting into a formal relationship is much more a mature decision.
It has just started in India amongst educated class in big cities. It is natural that it is unacceptable to many. Many opine that it may be OK in west, it is against our heritage/culture. It is to be noted, some time in the past, west was also as conservative as us in such matters. But they had to accept it because of socio economic pressure. There was a time when mankond did not know about marriage, which had to be created due to socio economic pressure after men invented agrculture. Due to the same socio economic change, institution of marriage is loosing its importance. According to the famous futurologist, Alvin Toffler, a day will come when marriage will be thing of the past. I am not suggesting that it will be good or bad for the society; but it is going to come. Let us review as to why people go for Live in Relationship. I feel the reasons are: - 1) In good old days, when the husband returns home in the morning after spending the night with his paramour, the ideal wife would massage his body; it is because the wife had no option - but it was one extreme. 2) Now if one snores, the spouse will go for divorce - this is other extreme. 3) Amongst educated class, both the partners are qualified with good personalities - so both expects equality more than anything else. When one tries to suppress the other, divorce is the inevitable outcome, which is quite costly and that scares the youngsters. 4) So it is better to live together and find out if they are compatable instea
RE:LIVE IN RELATIONSHIP
by tom her on Jul 29, 2007 06:57 PM Permalink
If so much noise can be raised for something as simple and logical as live-in, then imaginethe onslaught that will follow such as poen lesbianism.What will society do about that? compare to that live-in relationship is nothing really.-tom
Marriage is a failed Institution. Ask any married man and the tragedy is there. He has lost his life. The marriage has taken away all his joyful life. What remains is just misery. Girls are beautiful before marriage. Something changes in them immediately after marriage. They make a hell for the man. Marriages should be banned.
Live In Relationships is really new concept but I feel it is very good. Stay together, get to know each other, Enjoy life as friends. If still you can get along you can have your children. If you do not get along, just stop the relationship there and depart in search of the real soul mate. The main hurdle in marriages is it is difficult to know whether you are marrying your soul mate or it is just a partnership in Life. Partnership is not good. It becomes business. How can everyone find a soulmate without staying together. In 99% marriages, the marriages are between two bodies not between two souls. Any method to ensure the soul mates live together is good.
RE:Definitely Live In Relationships are far better
by saru saru on Jul 30, 2007 02:56 AM Permalink
if your message conveys that womens make life hell of man then let me tell u mens r also not less when shes new brides they are head over heels for them then what happens later why they find their neighbours wife more beutiful.so it needs two to clap for any relationship to sustain and grow.live in relationship keeps this relationship lively thats true.as after marraige both couple take each other for grant and dont give space.
RE:Definitely Live In Relationships are far better
by manuel dias on Jul 30, 2007 10:48 AM Permalink
What you are saying may be correct. A man feels victimized and wife feels it as her right to victimize a man to ensure that the man is tied with her. We are not discussing to find out who is at fault but to understand the existence of fault lines in this institution of marriage, and these are too big. Instead of enjoying the life together, it becomes a forced bondage. What keeps them bonded even after such a frustrating life ? The fear of unknown future. May be divorced life is enjoyable. But to take that step is very difficult for most, if not all. The husband & wife may not get along with each other but the love for their children is there. The immense love for their children and the desire to provide the best possible parenthood to the children and the frightening thought to make live the child with single parent if divorced, keeps the man tied to this institution of bonded slavery. This institution doesn't make his life happy anymore. It keeps on giving misery. The misery goes on increasing from level I to Level II and so on as the years of married life progress. It is his readiness to sacrifice his own life, his own happiness to ensure that he doesn't falter in his role of a parent. This benefits the women. Instead of creating the atmosphere of happiness, the cunning women just keep on thinking how to make the husband keep on doing slavery to provide physical comforts for her. Whereas the man keeps on hoping for the comforts of his soul, longing for the soul mate.
There may be several bad things in society and in marriages,there is a need to rectify all those evils. Love before marriage is o.k. but it is difficult to digest live in relation as track record of arrange marriages is far better than love marriages or live in relations.
"after marriage will they allow their spouses to have male/female friends ?" forget after marriage ask the question IN a LIVEIn rel will they allow their spouses to have male/female friends
RE:Live-in relationships: 'Better than a loveless marriage'
by tom her on Jul 29, 2007 07:02 PM Permalink
open marriages may soon be the norm in another 20 years,since it would be better than divorce.Also marriage would act as a perfect cover for such activities -tom
"Except a legal agreement, it is the same as marriage. " a child born out of wedlock wht is he called Mr sampath ? place yourself in othermans shoes before quoting something if anybody on this forum agrees that they would have been happy to be born of parents who had lived as livein parents and continue to live otday and not married i salute them how many on this forum are ready o be children of livein parents pls say
The issue of live-in-Relationship is contraversial one. One the one hand it is a freedom which a matured invidual prefers to do it between them. On the other hand it is seen as immoral and percieved to damage our country long heritage. However i believe that Live-in-relationship is far more better when compared to relationship without any love and affection.
One reason for my belief is that many married young couples feel that they don't get along well. They just live together just because of social compulsion. In case of Living relationship it is purely based on the invidual freedom to live together without any compulsion from family & Society.
Another reason for my belief is living realtionship will help to understand better between them. Living relationship is just not about sex and pleasure...Its more to do with trust and commitment. It gives matured invidual to choose a right dependable partner, so i strogly belive that there is nothing wrong with live in relationship.
Perhaps the best reason is that it brings new meaningful definition of marriage. Succefull relationship will surely turn out in to marriage which last long with mutual trust, love and affection. This will also help to erradicate nonsense happening in our society in the name of culture and traditions like dowry, insulting the partner, doubting the partner, etc..
For all these reason i therefore belive that living relationship is the best thing to happen in our country which can answer many man
live-in relationships are nothing but a decoy for fulltime sex access.. these morons with their so called "western" "liberal" crrap dont know sh*t about the repercussions of their selfish deeds. You cant emulate everything the west has to offer.. in the name of liberty and free society. If that is the case why dont u also adopt peodofilia and incest.. why u so called liberals stop their?? mayb in a few years u will practice these evils too!! All in the name of liberalisation. The Society has a set fabric with a set rules, u break one rule the whole system collapses.. like it has done in the west.. Marriage and Family brings real peace and happiness in a society no matter how many downsides it may have. Im sure none of my sensible friends here would agree to marry a girl who has been a mistress/keep/rakhail of some other guy.. and if anybody chooses such a partner.. then he/she must have been a keep for someone else.. so nothing to tell them. My opinion... learn good things from the west.. be honest and sincere workers, bring productivity and puncuality, bring justice and charity in ur nature.. dont go lusting after the evils.. because they may be easy to adopt but very hard to get rid off.
RE:Re:
by debarshi on Jul 28, 2007 06:01 PM Permalink
i don't think live-in relation is a decoy of sex access...what is a marriage? just a ritual to stay together. we call it base of our society...can we say western culture has no base in their society...if we say so then we are living in ignorant's world...western society has their own problems...relation doesnot last long there in half of the cases...but why so? one point all parties are too free to compromise to stay together to listen to other half's wishes...but then the problem is in wrong education they got...not the concept of live-in relations...i see people stay 10-20 years without marriages...its just not needed...because to stay together you need to have trust and love for each other..if that is not there a marriage can also break in indian society...most important is to advance economically we need to get rid of certain social barriers like casteism...marriage should be left on the decisions of the individual parties..now boys and gals of indian society like to remain controlled by their parents till old ages...problem is there...they are not mentally free to make big steps...if we can be free of our mind then certain rituals cannot bind us anymore to be a first world country...though it doesnot mean that marriages need not to be there, it is an wonderful thing...but again it should e decisions of individuals not be dictated by others..
RE:Re:
by Raja Bhaiyya on Jul 28, 2007 06:14 PM Permalink
Deba.. u r being an ignorant here when u call marriage a ritual to stay together. Marriage and the practice of whoring(live-in) are incomparable for sure.. as highlited by anil above.. how many of u r willing to b children of non-married parents?? its easier to preach such nonsense in the garb of "liberty". Im sure we have many more "liberal" hypocrits here who would portray themselves as "free minded" but would not practice the same or object if their siblings/children etc did any of this "modern" stuff.
