The search for the "perfect" man. Money like Bill, body like Arnold, cute like Brad, in bed performer like Rocco. Score: 10/10. Where is he? Let's find out by dating & sleeping with "dude" Salman & John. Marrying & divorcing "dumb" Abhishek. Always sighing for "good" Shahrukh & Hrithik in dreams but abusing & insulting them in real life. What should I do now Guruji? Is this today's Indian women? I think so, yes. But that's just me. I also think that Mallika & Bipasha are the prime rapists of Indian women. Being bold shall get you laid. But being good shall lead you to marriage & motherhood. What do we want to be, strategic "product" Madhuri or opportunist "servicing" Mallika? We're smart(?) enough to use dating, coin-bra, hair-color. Are we realistic enough to set our priorities in life? Or we simply get married for the sake of surroundings? Isn't it in our subconscious that flashing flesh would help us succeed, a non-dowry marriage too? Don't we prefer money & orgasm over organized family peace? Are we exploiting the huge difference in male:female ratio? Are we wise enough to accept the fact that there are no Mr.Perfect? Ready to WAIT for one Mr.GoodEnough & marry & be faithful to him? Do we realize that relationships are nothing but memories? Do we try to cultivate good memories in relationships -- daughter & father, wife & husband, mother & son? Spirituality a quick-fix for our stupidity? Is sex simple like rubbing 2 hands together as per internationally acclaimed gurus? I think India is a truly stressed out country. The steep rise in rape & atrocities & divorce is a sure-sign of burn out. Information overload? Possible, I think. But that's just me. As per the popular idiots' guide to life, "Men use hunting skill to kill & give love to get sex. Women use surviving skill to nest & give sex to get love. And nothing can change this." But wise men all over the world seek a wife as a loving caring replacement of mother -- sex is a bonus. Wise women never use flesh for success & never try to cut a necessity/ego driven deal renamed as marriage/divorce. And that's why only the wise people are happily married but not the cool/hot ones shuffling through too many opportunities. Chasing meaningless mirage mars meaningful marriage. Plus, patience is a virtue. Good things happen to those who WAIT. And I love my Mother India very, very much. But, once again, that's just me! And, "Khissiyani billi khamba nochey." Always. Period. Space constraints.
RE:Indian Women pointing fingers at Indian Men: 1 outward, 3 inward.
by Kedar Manohar Joshi on Feb 23, 2007 12:28 PM Permalink
Dear Deepa,
Market changes the values of relation. Emotion and kindness of female are wearout in Bipasha's bikni and Mallika's Murder. Now both male and female looks money and orgasm in each other. Its not only your mistake to find prefet man, the all girls behind it. And in searc of that they forgot the boys like me who can also be perfect if any girl have a level of satisfaction.
"You need to learn to act on and not react to problems." This is not possible in real life scenario. The right time has to come and people around you should be supportive.
For instance in my own life, when I was affected due to my abusive husband, I had no help to turn around. To make things worst, his parents started playing a typical in-law drama without even realising that I was already hurt due to their son and I was infact clinging on to the marriage despite him having left me emotionally alone already.
All that was left to us was just a legal divorce that too after 3 years in our meaningless marriage.
Dear redifff in your first example even though that lady having a boy friend why she has to marry other guy. she can happily marry her so called boy friend about whom she knows and understands very well. why to trouble a new man or woman in the name of marriage is it not oppurtunistic? what is meant by past relationship is it pre marital sexual relationship? rediff should define that. i ask rediff not to write this type of ridiculous articles. if you dont have the respect in the institution of marriage just dont marry for the name sake better to marry our so called closely associated boy or girl friends.
Only virgins should marry virgins. Divorced should marry divorced. Widows should marry widowers. Appetizers should marry appetizers. Because, if getting rid of the history is as easy as said, then we would have been facing lots of Nazis by now. But we don't have any, right? There has been only one Laden and that's why the entire world is trying so hard to stop the future Ladens by fighting against terrorism. History is the greatest tutor of time who teaches and warns us in the present for a better secure tomorrow. And history is the only reason why HIV test must be made mandatory by the Government of India before marriage. After all, marriage is not just another "experience" nor experiment.
RE:Classification of Singles is very important.
by Richard on Jan 07, 2007 02:33 PM Permalink
You say you are an IT professional. Yet, your outlook is quite backward and reflects the stupidity of "educated illiterates" that plague our society even today. Your statement that virgins should marry virgins, divorcee should marry divorcee and widow should marry widower highlights your lack of sense and sensibility.So then maybe you are saying men should marry men and women should marry women??!! Why shouldn't a divorcee or widow/widower marry a "never married" individual? why do you think that they will not have a meaningful marriage? It requires two sensible, mature and responsible people who love and understand each other to lead a successful married life, irrespective of whether one is divorcee/widow handicapped or not! You have admitted to being an appetizer for men! please dont try to be a main course, you'll just ruin the whole meal!!!!
So many smart people making so many dumb mistakes and also repeating the same again n again n again. So many Gurus making those smart citizens pay for their pain. Why can't we open our eyes to common sense and make that an integral part of our lives?! All sorts of relationship issues would vaporize if and only if we follow one policy, "Once an appetizer, always an appetizer." For example, I'm a typical urban Bangalorean IT professional and have been an appetizer to many men. While choosing a man for marriage, I'll simply go for one who has been an appetizer to many women. But we girls do the opposite, i.e, we exhaust our fun with many men but while marrying we always go for a man who is faithful and loyal. And then all hell breaks lose. Common sense, why can't we use n apply that??!! What goes around, comes around, right?
I appreciate your attitude to life, but in life what you must get is what you deserve...but unfortunately you only get what you dish out as rightly pointed out by you.
I think its a wonderful idea to be an appetiser to the opposite sex, infact in today's circumstances its more of the norm than the exception...and a better way of knowing the opposite sex.
Idea is wonderful, in perspective of men only. But another side of coin is dark. And we want both sides shining of coin to make home a lovely place. There is no space for deepa like girls in that.
