I read your article in the rediff posted on July 31st.I must admit I was impressed and completely agreed with your views and perceptions.I will also want to admit that before reading this article I was beginning to think on the contrary of what you had said.Had I polled, then I would have enlisted myself in that 35% who polled for personal choice.I was always under the impression that in any extra marital or premarital sexual encounters,it is the female who would be at the receiving end.To be precise the woman will have to bear the brunt of the consequences,if any.But again,before the encounter it was a personla choice for the woman to go ahead or put away the idea.The man loses nothing in this game.Like you had mentioned it is always safe and cosy to indulge in sex within marriage which id free of any consequences or harassment.I fully appreciate your views and congratulate on your idea to share it with readers.
A very well written article and I am happy that you have exactly echoed what is in my mind..
I am not sure if we are in the minority but at times it does help to be a lone dissenting voice rather than going with the stream without really listening to what our inner voice says.
Yes...we all have that inner voice and most of the times we fail to listen to the voice and ask it to shut up.
But I am thoroughly convinced that Life is a success for people who go by what they feel.
After all, what is success without mental stability and calmness?
Anyway, thanks for recording your views though some people would conveniently brand people like us as 'Moralists'
Hi (sorry, didnt gt ur name or was it provided...) I have moved to Australia recently and inspite of being this far-I strongly do feel that what you have said is correct and is what people should live by. I would like to mention here though, IDEALLY. This doesnt mean I am not supportive of the fact that Sex is a binding to be enjoyed ONLY after Marriage. I truly appreciate your views but I wish only if all felt the same. Personally, being a singl'ite it does happen to me and thoughts do cross my mind about a one night stand. But somehow I pull myself back from the fact that why do it just for a moment's pleasure??!!! Why not enjoy it with the Special one. Anyways, my findings about these thoughts do tell me that "One night stands" happens significantly during the age of 20-26 when our minds are not yet mature and they are sitting IDLE. With these Bolloywood going Bold songs and private albums it does become difficult for a person to control him/her self in a way. At the end of the day, always gotta 'mber you have a enjoy your life-you have the right - but do it in a responsible way. Just think, would you look straight into your partners life then?THINK-You have a beautiful mind.
Cngratulations to u for being able to respect and live with ur values. I am also one of your kind. I echo exactly the same views and have absolutely no regrets for the so-called 'lack of spice'.
I totally support your views but this message should be well understood by the present generation who wants to explore sex in each relationship with opposite sex. Although your article may not be read by masses , as today the TV serials are more appealing wherin all the channels are encouraging all these things of one night stands , etc etc . Name any serial and yes it is encouarging 1 thing or the other which is against the moral values . Don't you feel that the younger generation will try to enact the same in real life. The present generation wants to enact the western culture wherin they want the comforts of the west and be hypocrites by covering up and show that they beleive in indian values ( sandwiched between both).
Your article has made me feel that as my thoughts are moulded into words. I completely agree with you. I have heard many times from my friends that I am conservative in thoughts or an old fashioned person as I do not believe in having affairs and want to with a single man with whom I will tie knot.Sometimes, I face the question of not having a boyfriend but still having a modern approach.
It is not necessary to have an affair just because you want to follow fashion or trend. I think it has become a trend to get into a relationship without commitment and to think how broad minded we are. Live in relationship is a burning example. The affair which is started just for fun may shatter the rest of life. Recently the divorces have increased due to lack of mutual trust of partners primarily because of their past affairs.
I congratulate you for putting your thoughts and looking forward for other articles too.
RE:That's True
by Arun on Aug 02, 2006 02:33 PM Permalink
Hi Pooja,
Though not very surprised by the views expressed by most of you'll, I just have a question to ask - what is so special in the signing of a marriage register or walking around a fire 7 times that makes sex alright? And the question there is not of sex but submission, which, I think, is the point. But is there any form of guarantee that a marriage will last? But what has that got to do with sex? Actually nothing - bu its just our take on our value systems, which is / should be the crux of our discussions.
Divorces have nothing to do with sex; its just got to do with each individual's tolerance level
sarah ribak's conclusions are very appropriate. one more risk of premarital sex is the increasing desire to have many partners like seeking variety in food and the inability to confine to one partner later in married life. besides the risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases,aids particularly is more. this is where sexual educaion at school level is a MUST.
