I can't understand the Bahus being the culprits all the time. It is well know fact that most mothers are not ready to see their sons listening to other lady. Most being the phsycological reason of attention Bahus are getting from their sons which they never received from their husbands(dads). And especially older parents are not ready to accept the fact that everyone needs their own space - including them and Bahus. For example : Insisting Bahu need to cook a full fledged breakfast before reaching her work at 8.00am!!! Insisting Bahu needs to be cleaning and serving of all dishes personally! Insisting Bahu needs to do all kinds of poojas/functions in an elaborate way.... Insisting that Bahus should wear traditional dress all the time...
(AND I AM NOT SAYING THAT BAHUS ARE CLEAN ALL THE TIME).. but if you look around the families where both couple work, you can see these issues popping up....
(Most of the above examples are from my home itself. I never thought my mother would lie to me, but I was lucky enough to overhear the conversation between my mom and wife and heard my mom's account on it later...I almost made a mess out of life if I had believed my mom's account)
RE:Just the Bahus?
by padala sudha on Mar 08, 2007 02:53 AM Permalink
Let government setup such houses. Move all unhappy parents to such places and make the son pay for the maintanence of his parents.
Let have different classes for such oldage homes, and make sons maintain their parents based on his income. Afterall he has to spend a percentage of his income to really keep the mother happy. I am talking about only money here because, there is no love when the relationship has gone to an extent of moving out of family. Even mothers want this if they dont see any love towards her from her family......reasons dont really matter...can be many.. Bahu or Son or Grand childern or Bahus parents, etc etc etc......
RE:Just the Bahus?
by Sudharshan Govindan on Mar 08, 2007 03:24 AM Permalink
I completely agree with Manish Rogi. In most cases, it is Mother who creates problems rather than Wife. They are unable to cope up with changing times and spend most of their time cribbing, complaining and crying. Since the mothers were ill-treated by their mother-in-laws, they want the same thing to happen to their daughter-in-laws ! It is pure "ragging". I do not understand their mental makeup when they love their "own" daughters but hate the newly arrived daughter-in-law, who leaves everything and comes to her husband's house for the rest of her life. The main reasons are Over-possessiveness and Jealousy. Mothers are jealous that their bahus are educated, that they go to work and express their love to husbands more freely than the previous generation. The "older" generation needs some education to solve this issue. They need to "see" the world and let go of their "ego".
RE:Just the Bahus?
by jyoti on Mar 08, 2007 10:58 AM Permalink
why motherin laws even father in laws are not less if they know sothat their son's hear them.My father in law avoids my coming to house by saying you will get into troubles or very gently teaches me you should only come when my son comes and vice versa of this is not said. Recently when I was planning to buy a house we discovered the saving which my husband sent to him to invest was not also the half of what I had, though I am earning less. Father in law insisted not to buy house, he knows bfore retirement we cant return. When husband told my wife is investing maximum and taking loan also he said dont rely on her and asked him Do you how much life she has? and told him she will not live long. THis is the way my father in law behaves with me, he is retired proffessor and I too am lecturer, I have never asked him any thing but he is comfortable with me because I never handed him my salary or saving what he expected.
RE:Just the Bahus?
by anuj kumbhat on Mar 08, 2007 10:34 AM Permalink
your parents also had only one life to live? wonder why they spoiled their's for a complete idiot like u? Why have they cared for you more than themselves? Why have they let you intrude in their OWN SPACE when as a kid you came running to them with every little problem??
