I am sure that there is some truth in the article, as it is borne out by my experience. I work at a BPO which requires working in the night. I got married, but within hardly 2 weeks, my wife was a mental wreck, and had to be taken to a mental health professional. I do not, ofcourse , know if she had any problems before marriage. Her parents had to come, and took her home. Thereafter, my parents are insisting that the marriage be broken off, as they suspect that she had problems even before the marriage, and that even the child would be affected. Though we tried for an out of court settlement, the girl's relatives do not agree. It is almost a year since this has happened, and I do not know whether to work at a patch up or for a separation, as I am getting conflicting advice from all concerned.
Have you tried counseling? I think you should find out (if necessay use a detenctive agency) whether she had mental illness even before marriage. This should be possible if she is being treated by the same mental health care facility that was being used by her family before marriage. If she was ill before marriage and you were kept in dark about that I am of the view that you have been cheated and hence will have no obligation what so ever unless you feel committed to her and are prepared to nurse her back to health. The talk of love, togetherness in sickness and in health etc are all fine. But reality of caring for metally ill person is a different ball game and no one has a right to judge you if you decide other wise. However, if she has become sick after marriage, you will have to assume full responsibility whether you like it or not on principle of justice.
RE:Of marriage & IT
by Loan Shark on Aug 03, 2007 04:13 AM Permalink
Did you not take time off from work after marriage ... like a two week honeymoon in khajuraho?
went back to work immediately after marriage? poor wife ... no entry?
RE:Of marriage & IT
by Loan Shark on Aug 03, 2007 04:11 AM Permalink
working at night doesn't mean that you couldn't have sex during the day ... who told you that sex was a night activity ... men and women can have sex anytime .... there is no season for sex either ... also, mentally challanged are perfectly capable of good sex.
BTW, did you guys not see each other at all except for on weekends?
RE:Of marriage & IT
by abc on Aug 08, 2007 01:42 PM Permalink
Dear Ranjith, Ur doing ur best and correct.This can happen to anyone and at anytime in life!If this would have revesred then?So give soem time to your realtion(dnt listen to otehrs).Give ur wife full support,love,care she will definately come out of all this with ur efforts!Frankly discuss things with her,try to understand her point as well.Most important have patience! God bless you and your wife all happiness..
RE:Of marriage & IT
by Gautam nil on Aug 03, 2007 06:53 AM Permalink
I gather from what you write that you still love your wife. Probability is that though she could have had a minor problem earlier to you marriage, she appears to have been uniformly good with you till late when due to your either late return from your office or due to suspicion of your possible relationship with either your co working females or outside females as many females are easily available for a price as I gather, could have further aggravated her condition. After all generally women are sincere in love and it could have resulted due to disappointment in love with you, it is your duty as a husbabd who lived with your wife at least for a night or more not to seperate from her but to sacrifice your life for her to look after her health by spending money whatever is necessary. I am sure you love and affection with God's blessings as observed and felt by her will definitely bring her back o you as more than a normal wife with more love to you. Please don't listen to even your parents in this regard though parents are to be much regarded! Your such a sacrice will be fitting to your wife's welfare and your problem thus will be solved soon this way! Best of luck!
RE:Of marriage & IT
by Sanjay on Aug 03, 2007 08:08 AM Permalink
very well said Gautam. I totally agree with you that Ranjith should do his best by spending time and money to bring her wife back.
RE:Of marriage & IT
by kumar on Aug 03, 2007 11:51 AM Permalink
first of Ranjith sounds like a looser...
I wouldn't be surprised if he dumps his wife if he knows she has cancer even after say 10 years into his marriage....
ofcourse the Super Powers (God, Allah, Jesus, stars) are always watching such crooks and some day they will punch him by blessing him with a terminal illness and he will be deserted by his kids and friends.
wake up Ranjith...don't betray your spouse in sickness ...u materialistic fool....go to your wife ask for forgiveness and love her for what she is...in past present and future.
haven't you taken wedding vows ..have u forgotten them so conveniently!
"With this ring I thee wed, and all my worldly goods I thee endow. In sickness and in health, in poverty or in wealth, 'til death do us part."
