Yes, I have an anger problem. This is because I live and mingle in a society/community and every-day come across with the whole spectrum of people having a variety of attitudinal beheaviour. I am inherently peaceful and always admire people calm and composed, but this is on the surface level. I do not know them how they react when provoked Therefore, in the larger perspective, it is very difficult to fathom anger problem with an individual.
Coming back, even with a motivated consciousness to contain anger problem, I get myself inflamed with rage when I see things perceived to be unholy. Of the many things, let me take a single case when I travel in the train. If a Virar train happens to halt at Goregaon Station for signal, you can see the physical fights. The gangs/thugs form themselves a fort to prevent passengers on the platform to get in. Inspite of the fact that having sufficient space inside for accommodating his fellow men, they sit down on the compartment clutching their legs at the entrances deliberately blocking entry for others. I have seen even the school/college going students and elders virtually beg to let them in, but they do not relent. In the evenings when I take train back home - commute only 2 stations from Jogeshwari to Malad - it becomes increasingly difficult to get in. The moment trains halts at Jogeshwari Station, the people from inside barge in to the entrance, preventing entry for fellow commuters. You plead and beg, nothing moves them. When train moves away from platform, these guys look at you and mock. I am a senior citizen.
I struggle to overcome my simmering rage within. I try to inject in me with positive thinking that this is Bombay - its struggle for existence and we cant help it you are vulnerable and you ought to know this. Then I try to think about some happiest moments in my life I try to hum my favorite melodies of our great singers I think about my children, particularly my little grand-child the serious talks we have when I struggle to climb to my 3rd floor flat she stops me in the middle and pleads me that I take her on my shoulder. Alas! without my knowledge my anger melts away to smiles.
