DEAR SUDHANSHU, YOUR TRUST SEEMED TO HAVE BEEN MISUSED BY YOUR GURUJI OR SPIRITUAL GUIDE. I AM SORRY FOR THIS THAT YOU HAD TO ENCOUNTER A FALSE OR HALF KNOWLEDGED GURU OR MASTER. I CAN UNDERSTAND YOUR FRUSTRATION. I THINK, once you read the book "AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A YOGI" by SWAMI PARAMAHAMSA YOGANANDA, YOU WILL FIND GOD and even experience ALL PERVADING DIVINITY. THIS WILL END ALL OF YOUR THIRST FOR THE SPIRITUAL KNOWLEDGE OR ENLIGHTMENT. Here is the free online version of the book:
I can stand-by of what I am saying here to you. I am not using any fake ID to post this posting. Out of my own spiritual experiences and out of my own life experiences, I am telling this to you. Please read the book. This is also available in most book stores and in major indian languages and also in world languages. Here is the acclaims that this book gathered from the western world, that is known for its way of adopting by way of testing and not just by faith.