But since we know zip about Rahul, let's talk about la mamma: I think Sonia's hit-and-run campaign would have been hilariously funny -- if it weren't so dangerous. For instance, take:
* her protestations on Bofors. We should be infinitely grateful to her for making us privy to Rajiv's woes that he absolved himself of in their private confessional box. Obviously, Rajiv unleashed his feelings on issues of public import only to her, regardless of the demands of the Democracy. At some point, we should also expect to be told that Rajiv was fiercely opposed to the purchase of Bofors arms and the subsequent Operation Cover-up on Quattrocchi....
* her creativity on the Babri problem: "Just about a month before he was assassinated, my husband had said to me that if ever an attempt was made to touch the masjid he would stand in front of it, and they would have to kill him first." Now picture the blue- jeaned, Ray-Banned pilot standing Christ-like at the masjid's gates... It's all the more piquant as, on the eve of the 1989 election, Rajiv draped himself in pale saffron while addressing a rally at Jagdishpur -- after having authorised the shilanyas...
* her "anguish" over Operation Bluestar: Which was the beginning of India's combat against the terrorism and secession in the border state, a battle that was successfully concluded by the Punjab police, and which "regret" only ridicules the thousands who died so that India should live...
* her apology towards the anti-Sikh riots of 1984: "I feel that this kind of an incident should not have happened, and my husband Rajiv Gandhi felt the same." Yes, the same guy who'd said, "Jab koyi bada peyd girta hai to zameen hilti hai." Strangely, Rajiv had personally cleared Arun Nanda's campaign targeting the Sikh community: One ad asked if people felt uneasy when travelling by taxi -- alluding to the fact that a lot of cabbies are Sikhs. Not to forget the 1984-election graffiti in Amethi, informing voters that the contesting Maneka "sardar ki beti hai."
* her attack on the BJP's prime ministerial candidate: "They said Rajiv Gandhi took commission. I, Rajiv Gandhi's widow, tell you that what Atal Bihari Vajpayee said is a total lie." This, about the man who was unanimously voted India's finest Parliamentarian...
* her reason for campaigning: "Mujhe koi rajnaitik post nahi chahiye. Main isliye aayi hoon ki aapki taklif meri taklif hain." Do you suppose she knows that one of our taklifs is Bofors?
* her love for India: "Yeh mere suhaag ka desh hai aur meri akhri saans tak rahega. Meri mang ka sindoor is zamin mein mila hai." I'm wondering if Subhash Ghai is part of the campaign think-tank...
* her charge against the single largest party: "Now these same forces are posing a danger to the country. Our society will be destroyed by them." All its voters must be maniacal degenerates and not from "our" society...
* her justification of the Congress: "We have the experience to run a government... The politics of division is destroying what was carefully nurtured over the years by our great leaders." (Sorry, I'm too dumb-struck to comment on this one.) Just for info...She is in the process of dividing Andhra Pradesh into two seperate states...
