I V and my husband S are both IT professionals and unfortunately both of us have been together for only about 4 months in the whole of last one year.(only second year of marriage)
Though thats sad and we both yearn for each other all the time we are away I have a few things to say.
1.We chose to work in IT knowing fully well what are the expectaions in the industry.
2.We chose to take assignments which kept us away from each other for career growth, exposure, money aspects.
3.We have to decide how we work and how long from the very first day. When we make any plans and contracts in IT we have to be more realistic and make sure its only 8/9 man hours we actually work instead of long hours daily.There are emergencies and thats what they should be.
4.We in IT have to manage our time better while at office so that we can go back to our families where we have bigger responsibilities.
5.Some times we are really pressed for money with Credit Card Fed lifestyles we have.Again its our choice we need the money we have to make some sacrifices else we can change our lifestyles(easier said than done)
6.Living in UK or US believe me is not a easy and happy happy thing. Its a lose lose situation and more married people reject an onsite offer these days just to be with families.
LASTLY divorce has nothing to do with the people being in IT its the people that decide what to do.The profession is just an excuse.
RE:IT Divorces
by varun on Aug 02, 2007 05:19 PM Permalink
well mam the increasing rate of divorces in It ia quite alaraming! its showing statistically sigcificant difference compared to other proffessions.. so cant say that its just by chance that its coming high in IT sector!
In a country like India where marriages are held in a traditional way in conservative societies, it is important that the marriage should be treated much beyond having sex. Sex may or may not be the least factor in keeping the relationship and bondage. Once should realize that, upon marriage, the love, affection, freedom, dependency etc enjoyed by the bride at home suddenly disappear overnight and had to cope up with new surroundings, people and way of life. Acceptance at the in-law%u2019s place, creating an impression with them, taking care of the house chords etc. itself makes the womenfolk a difficult task. If staying alone, then the loneliness every day at the new place creates a vacuum in her life and the only solace is expecting her husband to come back from office, at least before the dinner time to have some conversation to cope up with the loneliness.
Communication between each other, sharing sorrow/joy, companionship, passion for each other, respect to each other, love/affection, commitment, better understanding of each other%u2019s situation, etc. are the core foundations to a successful married life%u2026.and not sex alone%u2026
RE:Other reasons for divorce
by Chanakya on Aug 02, 2007 05:25 PM Permalink
I still do not agree that SEX is the cause for divorse... it may be must for many and may not be for some..Marriage is a commitment to each other in many other ways
1) How in the world do guys date (or marry) girls in IT industry? First of all they are geeks, not very beautiful (quite ugly sometimes, but still think they are hot, which leades to ego problems). I have this girl who is my flatmate, she can't cook (but thinks she is the best and always cribs about my cooking), she is not bad looking..not hot...but not bad either.. (but thinks she is julia roberts), and thinks everybody else in the house is useless, and thus has massive ego problems. She goes on about how great she is blah!blah! Her bf, also an IT consultant, is the nicest guy in the world, but I fell so sorry for him.
2) Its not the problem with love marriages. My grandparents had a love marriage in the 1960s and they are about to cellebrate their 50th anniversary.
3) Also, you can't always blame the girls. The guys also have to share the work in the house and have to be understanding. After all, we are not living in the Dark Ages (or Pakistan for that matter). You might find this contradicting to my 1st point, but I mean this even of ur wife/gf is working in some other sector.
So lads, trust me. Do NOT go for a girl in IT, some of them will be great, but most are ugly and up their nose and really boring.
RE:Stupid divorce rates
by impeccablesits on Aug 02, 2007 05:14 PM Permalink
Undoubtedly!!! they do earn good money, but is money the end of everything?
RE:Stupid divorce rates
by impeccablesits on Aug 02, 2007 07:03 PM Permalink
Plus, Guys in IT sector have rarely seen women and generally tend to be on the geeky side (Guys no disrespect here!, just stating the obvious), so in comes a girl (however unattractive she may be) they fall for her. Thus, it makes her think that she is hot.
RE:RE:Parivartan
by kay ess on Aug 02, 2007 05:42 PM Permalink
Shayd apko apne hindi mey parivartan lana hoga. Kam hi log aap ki bhasha samajh payenge!
Visit any matrimonial site and click on any goodlooking girls photograph. Preferred Location of groom : USA/UK/Canada/Australia/New Zealand/ France/Sweden/Germany etc etc one girl also put Finland.
RE:Even though I am in IT field, I think the best profession is Teaching
by kapil on Aug 02, 2007 05:08 PM Permalink
but you need special guts for teaching, if your teaching not good they will ask you lot of questions and put you nick name too...
RE:Even though I am in IT field, I think the best profession is Teaching
by impeccablesits on Aug 02, 2007 04:48 PM Permalink
You are right. Unfortuately, not the most paying, but surely the most satisying.
RE:Even though I am in IT field, I think the best profession is Teaching
by Indian on Aug 02, 2007 04:55 PM Permalink
Teaching profession is a cool profession
One more good news for Bangalore people. everything comes with a price, such incident happend because of centeralised policies of Karnataka Government. This is perfect example of crowding unnecessarily one place. Once Karnataka's CM told that he will convert Bangalore to Singapore what about remaing places of Karnataka converting those to Somalia?????
