RE:Cost of success
by Gopal Krishna on Aug 07, 2007 02:49 AM Permalink
>>5. Getting a working wife is better option over seeking dowry, as she would fetch monthly cheque.
not sure if that is the main motivation. men want to see their wives as equal partners and hence the preference for educated partners. it also makes sense if they are capable of standing on their feet in the event of unexpected events such as divorce, death of husband, etc. yes, some men might want to go for the "homely" types if all they are all looking for is a cook and a slave!
RE:Cost of success
by purvi chawla on Aug 06, 2007 05:40 PM Permalink
Dont assume that working wife means no dowry,infact they take double advantage of a working wife and dowry.
i agree to this that either women should not work or if at all they work they should also think of their family. hai in my case just because my fiancy wanted to work even after marriage we parted .because i have my own company and i wanted her to be with me both in home and office by that way i thought we could be happy but she wanted to work as it pays more and she was less interested in family life marriage.do something for this
RE:hi
by Manpreet Saini on Aug 06, 2007 11:49 AM Permalink
well ifboth husband and wife are working together it becomes easier for them to spend time together .I think working together makes sense even if you earn a little less because of the fultipurpose bond that you are able to develop .
RE:hi
by Debashri Sengupta on Aug 06, 2007 07:14 PM Permalink
How would you feel if you were not allowed to work? What do you mean by saying that women should not work at all? And what makes you think that they don't think of their families if they are working? Can't believe that there are still people who feel like this. I completely understand and respect a person, who prefers his wife, spending more time with him. But if she wants to have a life, apart from family life, it is not a crime as you make it out to be. I have been a working woman, and am now staying at home. I enjoy both! But that doesn't give me the right to say that women should or shouldn't work. It's a personal choice, just like it is for men. Men shouldn't expect women to make all the sacrifices, while men have all the fun!
Its because of competition (not healthy though). For sake of Appraisals employees seldom overwork and have no time and energy left for spending time with family.
There should be rules levied on corporates in terms of time and work management.
For nearly a century, there are lakhs of doctors living in this country and abroad who live harmoniously. Becoz, of the anticipation of matters like long working hours, 24X7 work, highly stressfuol job, weekend work which are very common in mediicne. So, doctor couples have found themselves very adjustable always even if they are busy for two or three decades.Their family and children aremae to understand the factor of stress and overwork. OS, the anticipation and adjustment between husband and wife is the reason for stability amongst docotr couples.There would be no ego between a male docotar husband and female doctor wife, in most of the couples as theya re used to stressful conditions like longing working hours with collegues of opposite sex in internship and postgraduation days.
The same type of stress has not been present in any other sector till now until IT industry has come. So, now, younger generation has to accept and understand the type of work, of the partner.So, while dating or marrying, it is better to openly talk of how they would comabt stressful and long working hours. Then,marriages would be stable.
RE:Doctors are good examples
by MS on Aug 06, 2007 05:23 PM Permalink
excellent point.the docs must become the shining examples the IT divorcees need to look upon.
Situation A: Couple without kid---how does it matter whether the couple broke up or stayed together--it is merely a breaking of live-in relation.
Situation B: Couple with young kids-- This is where divorce hurts the kids. So the couple must confirm their union steadily before having kid. This situation is no good as has been proven by several sociological research.
Situation C: Couple having grown up kids: Again how does it matter if they decide for a change..
RE:What's wrong in divorce?
by Rekha Menon on Aug 06, 2007 05:14 PM Permalink
marriage is not a bed of roses. love in the 'rose tinted' sense with its romatic highs lasts for a few years and then you have to think about living with that one person with all their flaws for the rest of your life - it is difficult, to say the least. And this will arise in any marriage - there is no guarantee that if you divorce, the next marriage will work.
Divorce might be an easy option, but it is a traumatic, emotional wrenching experience for both parties. It leaves one scarred and scared. And in fact it might be even more difficult to adjust into a second/third marriage becos one's confidence has been affected. Children bring added complications and responsibilities.
People should think carefully before commiting and go into marriage with their eyes open. The aim should be to try to make the relationship work as long as possible. Unless of course things are completely unbearable between the couple.
The author states that "The worrying factor is that the number of divorce cases pertaining to those in the IT sector has seen a steady rise since 2003."
The author then goes on to quote numbers to prove the hypothesis: "In 2003, the number of cases from the IT sector was 283 while in 2004 it went upto 526. Statistics available show that in 2005 the figure went up to 946 and in 2006 the figure was 1,246."
According to NASSCOM, the total number of IT employees for 2004, 2005 and 2006 are 830000, 1058000 and 1293000 respectively. Assuming that at least 40% of these employees are in Bangalore, the figures for comparison would be 332000, 423200 and 517200. The divorce numbers quoted by the author for 2004, 2005 and 2006 are 526, 946 and 1246. As a percentage of total IT employees in Bangalore, the divorce rate would work out to 0.16%, 0.22% and 0.24% for 2004, 2005 and 2006. If you benchmark the divorce rate against the overall growth of the IT sector, you see a different picture than the alarmist one painted by the author - the growth in divorce rate for 2005-2006 is less than that of 2004-2005. We aren't doing bad after all!
RE:Statistics, gangools and lies
by cyber world on Aug 06, 2007 11:58 AM Permalink
at the same all are not married yaar, so wait till others get invovled and the % grows ok naa
RE:Statistics, gangools and lies
by Sameer Bhagwat on Aug 06, 2007 11:34 PM Permalink
You are forgetting that most people in the IT sector are between 22-29 and not married.
%u201CFinancial freedom, lack of time at home, erratic working hours, work pressure, financial security and stress are being seen as the main reasons for this fiasco.%u201D
I am not agree with above statement:
Financial freedom and financial security: Being financially strong is a strong point for family. Just spend your money to provide quality life and enjoy. How to spend%u2026sometimes you listen to your spouse and other time you listen to him/her. Don%u2019t stop the lady from being financially strong to make your family life better, need to give her more respect and decision power.
lack of time at home: when you are at home, any way how much time you give to each other%u2026for how many minutes you look at each other and give a smile%u2026.chat ..gossip and ask about the day and say some sweet words. Start doing this everyday for 15 minutes only, and see the difference%u2026at least situation will not go to divorce.
working hours, work pressure, stress: IT people get more salary on average, that%u2019s the price they have to pay to get more salary! To handle stress and pressure, there are many books, that u need to read and follow, friends and counselors whom you are ready to listen%u2026should have some hobbies to distress%u2026 ..Yoga, meditataion, art of living, reiki and so on%u2026 just pick any way that is suitable for you. There is no stress or pressure if you know how to come out of that.
Love, respect and trust are the only required ingredients to make the home life successful whe
RE:Article does not mention the reasons for divorce correctly
by Rekha Menon on Aug 06, 2007 05:32 PM Permalink
Financial freedom is essential and a great aspect for women empowerment. But it is indeed also a contributor (NOT the SOLE REASON) to higher divorce rates.
In earlier days, women couldn't envisage a life outside marriage becos they couldn't support themselves and in many instances, their parents wouldn't support them either. Hence they stuck on to bad marriages and suffered unsuitable treatment from husband/in-laws. But now, if they are financially empowered, in such situations they do not need to suffer any more.
On the negative side, financial empowerment has also led to young couples having less patience in sorting out marital problems and opting for divorce as an easy option.
Which is not to say that financial freedom for women should be curtailed and we need to go back to the dark ages.
What is required is for both men and women to change their attitudes. Men should realise that they cannot get a wife like their mums if they r marrying a modern working women. And women shouldn't flaunt their financial freedom as a weapon.
Both partners should have realistic expectations from each other and mutual respect and trust.
RE:Article does not mention the reasons for divorce correctly
by on Aug 04, 2007 03:22 AM Permalink
well, Good Advice and Good Thoughts but can we be more realistic here. We are not talking about exceptions, but in General. I think the Article is right in its analysis.
RE:RE:Article does not mention the reasons for divorce correctly
by on Aug 04, 2007 03:52 AM Permalink
Indian society for ages declared woman to stick to her husband forever, no matter what(even if husband beat her everyday). All the stories of Sati Savitri , Sati Anasuya are made up stories so that family stays together no matter how men behave, because women have been weaker sex all this time. Even in Western countries, 100-150 years ago, family system existed when women were weaker sex. But as women became more free financially, and society became more liberal, divorce rate started to rise. you might say lot of things about Love , respect but all these are exceptiions and very few couples exist with those qualities. For most of couples, its about convenience. Women can now stay single in society and need men for only certain period of time when they want to have kids etc. Women are demanding in their relationship than they were 30-50yrs ago because of liberal society. Men are also dont feel bad because Society started to accept divorcees, and they also think they can get what they want if not this women, another women. Both men and women have options to try out, If they dont get what they want,instead of trying to work things out of falling marriage. Remember, Wealthy women used to get divorced even in 1950 and 60s when divorce in india was like a sin. It all boils down to financial freedom and wealthy women had that freedom. And now its Middle class men and women's turn, who stared getting richer. Bottomline, Finacial security causes divorce.
RE:Article does not mention the reasons for divorce correctly
by Debashri Sengupta on Aug 06, 2007 07:23 PM Permalink
Financial Security does not CAUSE divorce! It is a wrong statement to make. What it does is, it gives women the power to decide what they want for themselves. Having financial freedom, gives women the confidence of choosing a life of their own. That is what it does. Yes, financial security can be misused. Just like any kind of freedom. All these years, men held women to ransom because they had the power of money. Now that women do too, they are not able to digest it. They still want women to behave like they belonged to the 18th century! What is needed, is to strike a balance. Men and women both need a change in their attitudes. SO many marriages are because of money, looks and such superficial things! That is why they become a thing of convenience. Marriage should be between two people, who love, respect and understand each other. Then, marriage becomes an institution of true love and bliss.
RE:Article does not mention the reasons for divorce correctly
by Priya Jay on Aug 06, 2007 03:40 AM Permalink
If you are a MCP(MALE CHAUVINISTIC PIG), then it doesnt matter... U will be spitting venomous things like this as this. It is unfortunate that men like you are still alive in this millineum where women are ahead in education, career and raising the nation to high standards. But, why, condemn a religion called hindu for your views??????????
Every religion is male chauvinistic as religions have been founded by MEn. WOMEN DONT NEED RELIGION. As their problems are the same all over the world.
Remember, Rajaram mohanroy, Periyar are leaders who fought for women's education becoz they realised that if women are educated, then the whole nation will be good, not just the family.
RE:Article does not mention the reasons for divorce correctly
by George Anto on Aug 06, 2007 10:36 AM Permalink
priya, u go to MP where women are carrying human wastes. dont say women are ahead in education in India. It is a great joke.of course men may be blocking them . as a single woman u can not bark that women dont need religion. But one nation can become richer and stronger only when its people respect them. and no doubt that wemen are weaker sex
RE:Article does not mention the reasons for divorce correctly
by James Powell on Aug 06, 2007 11:59 PM Permalink
I dont understand what you mean by"WOMEN DONT NEED RELIGION"!!!!!!!!! How can you say like that huh?!! I hope that you're educated enough and belong to some religion atleast.I salute your parents who have brought you up till now.The fact that you were born in this world and educated is proof that man is not ordinary.Religion teaches us values and helps us live life better. All women in the world dont have the same problems just like all five fingers dont have the same size.You have an identity for yourself today because of your religion and your parents otherwise you are nothing.
Its a pity that you've taken the names of great people like Periyar and Rajaram mohan roy to uphold your argument.If you dont know to respect a man dont,atleast try to respect GOD!!!!
RE:Article does not mention the reasons for divorce correctly
by kumar on Aug 04, 2007 11:18 AM Permalink
awesome!
no wonder the hindu fanatics oppose property rights and career choices for women.
time has come all women should deserve their own checking account with half the paycheck of husband direct deposited on pay day.... that should put an end to begging those bean counting nuts(husbands).
RE:Article does not mention the reasons for divorce correctly
by the unique on Aug 06, 2007 02:17 PM Permalink
Prob with some of the people here is they want to highlight their religion then issues.I want all should see whats happening in their religion before start commenting on others.
RE:Article does not mention the reasons for divorce correctly
by maibap on Aug 05, 2007 11:48 PM Permalink
hindu fanatics????compare the number of hindu woman exmployees with muslim and christian ones..
1) How in the world do guys date (or marry) girls in IT industry? First of all they are geeks, not very beautiful (quite ugly sometimes, but still think they are hot, which leades to ego problems). I have this girl who is my flatmate, she can't cook (but thinks she is the best and always cribs about my cooking), she is not bad looking..not hot...but not bad either.. (but thinks she is julia roberts), and thinks everybody else in the house is useless, and thus has massive ego problems. She goes on about how great she is blah!blah! Her bf, also an IT consultant, is the nicest guy in the world, but I fell so sorry for him.
2) Its not the problem with love marriages. My grandparents had a love marriage in the 1960s and they are about to cellebrate their 50th anniversary.
3) Also, you can't always blame the girls. The guys also have to share the work in the house and have to be understanding. After all, we are not living in the Dark Ages (or Pakistan for that matter). You might find this contradicting to my 1st point, but I mean this even of ur wife/gf is working in some other sector.
So lads, trust me. Do NOT go for a girl in IT, some of them will be great, but most are ugly and up their nose and really boring
RE:Strupid IT women are not even hot!!! (thats why they are in IT)
by Rekha Menon on Aug 06, 2007 05:46 PM Permalink
And you are extremely handsome, witty, intelligent, caring, ...... the ideal eligible bachelor ???????
Your half-baked comments only serve to highlight your immaturity --- definitely not fit to get married at the moment!
RE:Strupid IT women are not even hot!!! (thats why they are in IT)
by justin paul on Aug 06, 2007 11:38 PM Permalink
get smart guys....when gals speak...just pretend ur hearing them...whatever u do keep them happy...get chocs or icecream once a while or whatever (which doesnt cost much) and see them melt :)....tats the sucess story bud..
RE:Strupid IT women are not even hot!!! (thats why they are in IT)
by Debashri Sengupta on Aug 06, 2007 07:31 PM Permalink
WOW! Your parents taught you that? Or your grandparents? People like you are the ones who raise the divorce rates, for no reason. You want a person who is HOT!!! Nothing else matters, right? And look at your comments, you don't even know what you are writing!!! What is your point? (Apart, from WHY NOT TO MARRY AN IT GIRL, WHICH IN ITSELF IS EXTREMELY CHAUVINISTIC, IMMATURE AND STUPID!) And hey, what is your problem with your flatmate? My guess is, you have a crush on er and she doesn't give you a damn. Guys often say the worst things about a girl, if she doesn't bother about him. And if her boyfriend is happy with her, what is YOUR problem?
RE:Strupid IT women are not even hot!!! (thats why they are in IT)
by Sameer Bhagwat on Aug 06, 2007 11:39 PM Permalink
Very well said, IT girls are cold towels. Just stand outside any engg. college or IT company and see for yourself.
RE:Strupid IT women are not even hot!!! (thats why they are in IT)
by Geraldine Paul on Aug 06, 2007 06:19 PM Permalink
I pity the girl who marries you.
RE:Strupid IT women are not even hot!!! (thats why they are in IT)
by cool guy on Aug 04, 2007 07:27 PM Permalink
Yeah.....I agee with u......IT girls shud be the last option to be married with.....they r gud for nothing....neither in workplace nor at home...
RE:RE:Strupid IT women are not even hot!!! (thats why they are in IT)
by Debashri Sengupta on Aug 06, 2007 07:33 PM Permalink
Yeah, they aren't good in the workplace, because they don't give into your flirtations, right? And they aren't good in home because she doesn't have the time to take your immature tantrums? Or refuses to be be a slave to your parents? What wonderful ideas your parents have inculcated in you. I am sure they will be proud of you!!!! Huh?
RE:RE:RE:Strupid IT women are not even hot!!! (thats why they are in IT)
by abc on Aug 08, 2007 01:17 PM Permalink
lol lol...good one guys and gals..thanks for entertainment! keep up the good work... huh!! ;)
RE:RE:RE:Strupid IT women are not even hot!!! (thats why they are in IT)
by abc on Aug 08, 2007 01:20 PM Permalink
SEEMS LIKE THE NXT SET OF DIVORCEES COMMENTING ON THIS ARTICLE ;)
RE:RE:Strupid IT women are not even hot!!! (thats why they are in IT)
by Rekha Menon on Aug 06, 2007 05:48 PM Permalink
YOu seem to have a lot of experience with IT girls both at office and at home !!!!
RE:Strupid IT women are not even hot!!! (thats why they are in IT)
by Madan Kumar on Aug 10, 2007 12:53 AM Permalink
Totally true. I am an IT guy who has dated both inside and outside of IT. IT girls are as hot as a bunch of mainframe code (unless I am really desperate).
