It is difficult to come to conclusion whether love marriages brings lots of adjustment. In modern India, love marriage bring lot of struggle in male life than a female. Not in all, but in most of the cases, love marriage become tension and life become complicated for girl, boy and their family members due to lot of expectation from girl. Normally boy's family show off as they accept the girl, but they don't and therefore for every little bit of problem they blame girl mostly and then their son. It results in lot of tension in both girl and mainly on boy's mind. Girl who r working r in more trouble due as they listen a lot from her inlaws but it is boy who suffer a lot from both his wife and parents side. I think it is not worth going for a love marriage in case one want to stay with his parents after marriage, otherwise it is good.
No i dont think that love marriages need adjustment becoz we know our soulmate already, the likes &dislikes are known to the partner then what else need for the adjustment Since love defines the strength of any relation whether it is arranged or love marriage,partners need to have faith in their love Love marriages have a benefit since lovers know each other so they have not to spend the moments of love in knowing each other as in case of arrange marriages MARRIAGES ARE MADE IN HEAVEN &everyone find their soulmate either through love or through their parents But i think love marriages to be more energetic &enthusatic becoz love always deepen with pace of time For a successful relation there should be proper understanding&mutual affection which cant be there without LOVE
problems can arrive anytime anywhere ,whether it is arrange marr or love marr but the mainthing is tht in love marr u urself has taken dcision to handle all such situations and thier nothing which has occured to u due to any pressure or newness to the person in love marr u knowthe person very well it is obivious tht everyone has some shortcomings which u know only after marr but stil i will say tht if one should do marr he shoud do only thur love system
mrs lakshmi pls shut ur mouth. as a girl, first u see ur own character. you said that parents have ego, prejudices etc. not at all, they have their own dignity, culture and respect in the society.
but a girl, she intentionally does not like her own caste and marrying person with other caste. this shows selfishness of girls toward love marriages in destroying status and value of parents.
MRS lakshmi she has her lovemarriage thats what supporting telling about many couples of having love marriages.
In short, girls are selfish in having love marriages, then where is the adjustment?
well, today hindu population is diminishing coz of the fact that hindu girls are purposely having love marriage with out of hindu caste boys. they are purposely approaching them by rejecting hindu boys. this is more especially found in different parts of India.
Indian country population will increase day by day, but what about HINDU people population? if hindu population reduces then is it worth to call this country as INDIA? forget about the matrimonial this is about love marriage
RE:worthless to tell about love marriage
by Lakshmi on Jun 14, 2006 12:32 AM Permalink
You have perhaps not read my comments properly. Did I ever say that all love marriages are between Hindu girls and Muslim boys? When I gave those examples, I only meant that famous personalities who are known to everyone on this forum have had successful love marriages. What about Hindu Maharashtrians marrying Hindu Bengalis? Or Hindu Tamil Brahmins marrying Hindu Kshatriya Malayalis? Is that bad for India? There are plenty of interCASTE arranged as well as love marriages these days. Parents love us, no doubt, but they sometimes think of their standing in society and their dreams for their children more than what their children themselves want. Nowhere did I mean to demean parents. All I wanted to say that just as immature youngsters stupidly run away with someone totally unsuitable and make mistakes, parents may be mistaken, too. After all, we are all humans and make mistakes.
RE:worthless to tell about love marriage
by reena on Jun 13, 2006 05:42 PM Permalink
Mr. Amar, before saying shut up to ms. laxmi, answer me a question, who makes community, culture etc.... its only we, god has not made such things, he has only made human being and a person cannot be judged on community/caste etc. Its hardly makes any difference whether you are doing Love Marriage or arrange provided an individual person is from good family background, good earning and enough capable to fullfil needs of family. dats all what else parents need for thier children
well, objective of love marriage is to hurt their own parents and destroy their family norms, culture and respect. coz, this fact many parents suffering from pain throughout life.well mrs lakshmi(intercaste) said the long story, about the girls and their nature. she gave the examples of many love marriages including actor and actress. i think she had given much more concentration on love marriages. she said at the end parents are resisting the love marriages of their children, this is wrong thing. coz she has got love marriage.well, this is true fact that, lot of hindu girls are marrying with muslim boys purposely and intentionally. i think their objective is to reduce hindu population. and increase already increased muslim population.well, lot of hindu girls already married with huge muslim boys and increased their population.In future, all the hindu girls marrying with muslims and INDIA become MUSLIM country. hindu boys will die without marriage. girls are doing so coz they are attracted by muslim film actors all they have married with hindu girls. so they also want to follow the same. there is no value for love marriages today. hindu girls adjusting purposely with muslims
--- Examples of successful love marriages (at least the ones that have lasted long) Shah Rukh Khan and Gauri Amitabh and Jaya Bachchan Nawab of Patuadi and Sharmila Tagore Sachin and Anjali Tendulkar Our own Indira and Feroze Gandhi, Rajiv and Sonia Gandhi Hrithik Roshan and Suzanne Khan
Our own devtas have had love marriages: Krishna and Rukmini Kartikeya and Valli Shiva and Parvati
And who can forget the eternal love story of Radha and Krishna or the fact that Bharata who gave his name to our country, Bharatvarsha, was the product of a love marriage between Shakuntala and Dushyanta?
In an intercommunity marriage, it is true that cartain extra adjustments are needed, but even if one marries within one's community, there are plenty of other adjustments. Not all love marriages happen against parents' wishes and not all are outside the community. Sometimes, there are even intercaste arranged marriages. If parents object against someone just because he/she is not from the same community/caste/religion or not of their choice, then is it even fair? Parents are not perfect, they have their own misgivings, ego and prejudices, too.
Love marriages are between Brahmin girls and terrorists/gundas, etc. ????????????? LOL!!!! Those who say that girls only run away with terrorists, gundas, etc. ..you should stop watching only movies such as "Fanaa", "Satya", "Bombay", "Raja Hindustani" and get out and
see the world more..I know of couples who are together since their college days and are happily married with kids, working as software professionals, managers, etc. There are a few couples I know who met at work and are happily settled, both personally and professionally. It may be true that sometimes, girls and boys alike may fall for
someone unsuitable because they are immature, but to generalise that and say that all people who get into love marriages are stupid and their marriages are trash is bigoted and
hateful to say the least. People who say this either do not want Brahmins to marry non-Brahmins or believe that all non-Brahmins are gundas, terrorists, etc. Now I know why people shout so much over caste, reservations, etc. In fact, one way to end the caste system is to encourage intercaste marriages.
What do you think of love marriages?' one character asks another, in Manju Kapur's Home. 'They are very bad,' comes the reply. 'Require too much adjustment.'
Chill there, it is NOT the author's personal opinion but what ONE OF THE CHARACTERS says in her book to another. I am really shocked to read the outright sexist and prejudiced views against women, Brahmins, intercaste and inter-religious marriages. If this is what my educated, web-surfing countrymen think, then God help this country! No wonder we have dejected lovers who hurl acid at their former girlfriends or even girls that reject their advances..
As for love marriages, I personally had a love marriage with a wonderful, caring, intelligent man from another caste who is also educated and works in the same profession as I do. Here are some of the common myths:
Love marriage is all about lust but arranged marriages are all about commitment - Hey, why do people look at photos of prospective grooms/brides and why do parents place matrimonial advertisements such as "fair, homely, beautiful" ? Face it, physical attraction and intimacy are part of any marriage, whether love or arranged.
