I would like to know what readers think of the following methods of physical punishment. I have been using them regularly on my children. 1. Ear twisting using varying degrees of force depending on offense committed. 2. Face slapping on both/one side. Face slapping while using the child's hair to hold the head steady. 3. Hair pulling. Hair pulling and slapping at the same time. 4. Using a bamboo cane. I keep two different sizes. 5. Using a piece of chalk between the fingers and squeezing hard. I am not sure if this hurts the bones in the fingers. 6. Light punching with a fist. I don't punch them in the face. 3. Arm twisting. For really small children you might want to to hold the shoulder area steady or the entire body might twist, dampening the effect of this punishment.
RE:Which of these methods are acceptable ?
by Sheetal Kaur on Jun 26, 2007 06:55 PM Permalink
None of your method is acceptable as far as I am concerend Mr CosmicKid
RE:Which of these methods are acceptable ?
by George Samson on Jun 26, 2007 11:27 AM Permalink
The first thought on reading your comments prompts me to send you this address - "INSTITUTE OF MENTAL HEALTH, KILPAUK, CHENNAI 10" - if you are not able to find the place or stay far away from chennai then give your address and we will have you picked and admitted their. ZOMBIE
RE:Which of these methods are acceptable ?
by santosh kulkarni on Jun 26, 2007 12:10 PM Permalink
You must be put into jail immediately when law comes into force. You are simply abusing your kids. Please give me your contact details and I will call the police to arrest you.You should feel ashamed of yourself as you have to adopt such punishments methods. I think some one should do same things to you as well.
RE:Ridiculous
by santosh kulkarni on Jun 26, 2007 12:20 PM Permalink
Dear Partha, I think you are not aware of child abuse cases happening in India. Even I have heard and seen from neighbourhood children how they are beaten up with belts and sticks and are given burns.Is it not abuse ? These cases are not rare but rampantly happens here but goes unreported and children are silent sufferers from the hands of their own parents. We need very strict laws to save kids from such abuses.
I really fail to understand why matured people loose their head and patience and treat kids cruelly..A plant treated with love and service and grow up and yield good fruits..In short what u do to them today will be given back to you tomorrow so treat them with love affection and good descipline and they will treat you the same...I was bad at maths and teacher us to treat me with shouts, beatings which lead to nervousness, loosing of confidence and fear..Such things would only hamper once career build path. I could only overcome such elements after few period of time.. but such hurtings leaves black residue in ur heart. I am sure if we look into ourselves there should be various methods implemented for descipline..It is a good learning parent who can cultivate good childrens..after we all need to lead a happy and amicable life....
All Children need boundaries and parents that they can respect. If parents beat kids and don't adhere to the boundaries set, then kids will remain undisciplined. Set boundaries, stick to them. Over time, children will know not to cross them without permission. You can define how a tree will grow only when it is a sapling/seed. When it is full grown - it will reap the benefits of the nips and cuts that ensured it gave good fruit.
RE:Boundaries
by achun pamei on Jun 26, 2007 10:32 AM Permalink
Looks like 70 % of Indian parents will be in jail now-what shall we do with their children?:) I feel parents have a role to decipline their kids when they are young else they may have to see police deciplining their kids when they are older. .....Choice is yours?
As a mother of 1year 8 months kid i will agree with the above statement, But what is the alternative way teach them the descipline, Is there any otherway to make them good citizens? I would like to get suggestions on this from a pediatrist. As wife, mother, inlaw, daughter, working women, how should we manage to be cool & calm with the child eventhough they are doing some mischieves?
RE:Spanking your childre could land u in a jail
by Bahl Kumar on Jun 26, 2007 11:29 AM Permalink
believe in God , and start searching for true God , he will let u know every thing
I think physical force would althmore worsen the child attitude. He would be more stubborn and grow up hating parents. Indeed there is a fine line between using physical force and threatening. More threatening also would take the child to the same route and he would also practice the same traits on parents and other people. Children have the mindset to do whatever is told them not to do. So we need to tell them not do in a way that it is not a dictator 'NO'. Explain the cosequences of the action to the child.He would atleast start making an attempt to understand.
I vehemently oppose the idea of physical punishment, slapping etc. to discipline children. It is not an effective means of disciplining children. Effective discipline helps children learn to control their behavior so that they act according to their ideas of what is right and wrong, not because they fear punishment. For example, they are honest because they think it is wrong to be dishonest, not because they are afraid of getting caught.
The purpose of punishment is to stop a child from doing what you don't want - and using a painful or unpleasant method to stop him.
In my opinion there are four kinds of punishment
physical punishment - slapping, spanking, switching, paddling, and using a belt or hair brush.
verbal punishment - shaming, ridiculing, using cruel words, saying "I don't love you."
withholding rewards - "You can't watch TV if you don't do your homework."
penalties - "You broke the window so you will have to pay for it with money from your allowance."
The first two kinds of punishment, physical and verbal, are not considered to be effective discipline methods. The other two, withholding rewards and giving penalties, can be used either as effective discipline methods or as punishment - depending on how parents administer them.
A swat on the bottom is a mild physical punishment. While it may do no permanent physical harm, it does not help the child develop a conscience. Instead, it teaches him that physical violence is an acceptable way of dealing with probl
RE:Physical punishment is a crime!
by Manish Ahuja on Jun 26, 2007 08:35 AM Permalink
A swat on the bottom is a mild physical punishment. While it may do no permanent physical harm, it does not help the child develop a conscience. Instead, it teaches him that physical violence is an acceptable way of dealing with problems. Parents should avoid physical punishment. If they find themselves using it, then something is wrong and their method of discipline is not working. They may as well admit that spanking is more effective in relieving the parents' frustration than in teaching the child self-control. More effective methods are needed.
Harsh physical punishment and verbal abuse can never be justified as ways to discipline children. Parents usually spank when they are angry; a parent may not realize how hard he is striking the child. Verbal abuse hurts the child's self concept.
Physical punishment usually doesn't work for several reasons. First, it makes the child hate himself and others. Physical punishment makes the child think that there must be something awfully wrong with him to be treated so badly. If children think they are "bad," then they will act "bad." A vicious cycle is formed. The child who has been treated harshly has no reason to be good. Or he may be good just to keep from being punished and not learn to be good because he thinks it is the right thing to do.
Children who have been spanked feel that they have paid for their misbehavior and are free to misbehave again. In other words, spanking frees the child from feelings of remorse which are nee
RE:RE:Physical punishment is a crime!
by Manish Ahuja on Jun 26, 2007 08:36 AM Permalink
Children who have been spanked feel that they have paid for their misbehavior and are free to misbehave again. In other words, spanking frees the child from feelings of remorse which are needed to prevent future misbehavior.
Parents who use physical punishment are setting an example of using violence to settle problems or solve conflicts, Children imitate their parents' behavior. When parents use physical punishment, children are more likely to use violent acts to settle their conflicts with others.
Another disadvantage of using physical punishment is that parents have to find other discipline methods when the child becomes as tall and as strong as the parent! Why not start using effective discipline methods when the child is young?
Where reward and punishment focus on the child, encouragement and reality discipline target the act. Reward and punishment teaches the child to be "good" as long as we are looking. When rewards are our chief way of motivating children we run the risk of creating "carrot seekers": children who are always looking for and expecting a reward every time they do something good or right. If we give a child money for making his bed this week, he'll wonder where his money is next week. Instead of being self-motivated by a desire to cooperate or help other family members, we have taught the child to look to us for his source of motivation.
Effective Discipline . . . Helps the child learn self-control Can be used with teenagers Builds the child's self-es
RE:RE:RE:Physical punishment is a crime!
by Manish Ahuja on Jun 26, 2007 08:37 AM Permalink
Effective Discipline . . . Helps the child learn self-control Can be used with teenagers Builds the child's self-esteem Sets a good example of effective ways to solve problems.
Harsh Punishment . . . Teaches the child to deceive parents Won't work with teenagers Tears down self-esteem Teaches the child that violence is an acceptable way to solve problems.
Well, they have implemented such measures in the west because the physique of westerners is huge. one slap can easily land a kid in the hospital, if not the morgue!
ok, 'nuff kidding. the reason parents discipline their kids is so that they grow up as good citizens. you don't need a law to tell when a parent's spanking turns abusive. no amount of law can stop parents from abusing their kids. and no law can tell a parent that it is wrong to slap a kid if the parent is trying to discipline his/her kid.
for those who quote western standards, here's an example. i was at kmart, and a kid was pestering her mom to buy her some candy. the mom was in no mood to relent. the kid slipped the candy in her pocket (the equivalent of shop lifting) and displayed her steal after her mom had passed the checkout counter. her mom gave her a glare, and when that didn't wipe the kid's smile, she gave a nice whooping on her backside in full view of everybody who cared to see. with tears running down her eyes, the kid returned the candy at the same spot she had picked it from. everybody saw the incident and no one thought of calling 911. no prizes for guessing why - the mom was simply teaching the kid what was right and what was wrong.
a parent spanks his/her kid so that he/she learns the right stuff. so that a couple of years down the line the 'junta' doesn't have to spank (figuratively speaking) him/her in full view/knowledge of the parent.
RE:not really
by Tom Joe on Jun 26, 2007 09:18 AM Permalink
Very true. Western countries have been implementing these for long - but the results (there for all to see) are not like many who have written here in this forum propose. Violence should be abhorred but basic punishment (including spanking) is a must.
