It is entirely personal choice. Two consulting adults wish to remain in such a relationship it is their choice. Who are we to impose our moral standards on them. The world has enough people who try to impose their moral values. They are well aware that this relationship does not provide legal sanctity and still they chose to remain in it. so be it. There should not be any discussion on it. Nor should rediff try to discuss such issues
RE:live in relationship is a personal matter
by on Jul 17, 2007 01:59 PM Permalink
Its not just a personal matter... Its a social matter.Man is a social animal... He has 2 live in a socity, so he should think of it 2, its moral implications, n laws
RE:live in relationship is a personal matter
by Maria on Jul 17, 2007 02:24 PM Permalink
Can u show me one soul who remains completely honest towards society during his lifetime?
RE:live in relationship is a personal matter
by Prashant Shah on Jul 17, 2007 05:17 PM Permalink
not even a single person. bcoz as a matter of fact its not possible
RE:RE:live in relationship is a personal matter
by Injun Abhi on Jul 17, 2007 02:08 PM Permalink
Pls don't use the word moral as per convenience. There are morals violated everyday by bribing, not paying taxes, political parties disrupting normal life, dadagiri and goonda gardi. What about stopping these first? These affect everybody everyday. At least live-in relationships are mutual and peaceful and do not harm society like the other nuisances mentioned above.
I have a question for ppl(including ppl at rediff who came with wonderfull idea) who support this idea....will they accept the same if their daughter/sister is into this
I request rediff editor for his comment....
I expect media to act with some social responsibility..if they say it happens in US...pl post this in rediff US website
RE:Req rediff's comment, pl tell us what u think
by jaya menon on Jul 17, 2007 01:26 PM Permalink
100 % true, we can be global indians but we should stick to our own culture!!
RE:Req rediff's comment, pl tell us what u think
by Salil Kumar on Jul 17, 2007 01:30 PM Permalink
And what if a rediff staffer was to say, yes, it is fine if my daughter/sis went ahead? Then? Will you change your views, or brand the whole family deviant? Come on, think about it, before you ask such rhetorical crap
RE:Req rediff's comment, pl tell us what u think
by sangya pundir on Jul 17, 2007 01:36 PM Permalink
wow.. typical indian mentality.. m curious y u said "will they accept the same if their daughter/sister is into this" ???? So basically this is just one more thing, where instead of having a problem with the issue yiu hav a problem with GIRLS doin it! Y not say sons/brotheres as well?? So its ok if a guy does it but not a girl!! If u hav a problem with women being involved in something, u shud hav a problem with men being invilved in it too! Hypocrites like you make me sick! As far the issue goes, live-in relationships are ppl's personal matter. Its for individuals to decide, not for the society.
RE:Req rediff's comment, pl tell us what u think
by sampath mohapatra on Jul 17, 2007 02:53 PM Permalink
What culture are you talking about? A culture which puts females into prostitution just because they are born in particular community (Devadasis). Culture is nothing but the values accepted by a community voluntarily and not forced on them. There is no difference between a live in and marriage except a legal agreement.
RE:Req rediff's comment, pl tell us what u think
by Suresh Kumar on Jul 17, 2007 05:08 PM Permalink
My friend, Devdasis are women given to GOD(temple duities) after they were born by parents prayer to GOD. These woman involve themselves in temple duties and usually live with the help of temple organizers. They are free to choose a sexual parner. Moreover they were never disrespected in the society before British invasion. They were allowed to have sex with the whoever they choose, not whoever chooses them.Devadasi means as below. "Deva" means GOD's and Dasi means servant. This is how the term was born. Also please give time and effort to understand OUR OWN motherland INDIA by indians and do some research before you conclude anything. Just don't conclude based on some westeners view of indian devadasis. Everything has corruption in it and the same way Devadasis was also corrupted but not entire community. Its shows the freedom offered to women by society not what you think. Go ahead and do some research and explain to people my friend, we are a lot misinformed about our culture and Taj mahal and many more things which we should not pass on to our future generations.
RE:RE:Req rediff's comment, pl tell us what u think
by Suresh Kumar on Jul 17, 2007 05:09 PM Permalink
One more thing, I believe that people choose how they want to live. So its entirely up to each couple whether they want to be married before they live or not.
RE:Req rediff's comment, pl tell us what u think
by kagome on Jul 17, 2007 04:09 PM Permalink
for ur kinda mentality, ur daughter and sister will not even tell u that they are in such relationship.... u will not give them a chance to discuss this matter.... so i think if u dont talk about this it is better for all readers
RE:Req rediff's comment, pl tell us what u think
by Injun Abhi on Jul 17, 2007 01:43 PM Permalink
Yes I support live-in relationship yes, I would encourage my daughter/sister to live-in before getting married if they desire to know the person before getting married. Marriage should be a choice, not a compulsion that society imposes on us. Hope it answers your question.
RE:Req rediff's comment, pl tell us what u think
by Ipsita S on Jul 17, 2007 01:52 PM Permalink
consenting adults have a right to live together if that's what they want. why should anyone else bother them ? 'what about children' is a dubious reason to prevent it because children will not have any problem if the people accept the children as equal to all other children. yes, i have no qualms if my daughter/sister chooses this option, as long as they are doing this as an adult with free consent. why did you think i won't ? The way you have worded your question, actually reveals your sexist nature. Think about it if you can.
RE:Relationship
by manik on Jul 17, 2007 01:59 PM Permalink
Hi dude, i agree on your motto. But you have to understand that there is nothing in life that is entirely personal other than your dreams. So, i think a discussion on this topic is healthy.
A live in relationship is not a stepping stone to a marriage..........it is as great a responsibility .......as great a commitment .........as much a contract as a marriage.
It is only the legal aspects that have to be cleared. Legal in the sense:if he dies , does she inherit?
Otherwise, "it is marriage only".What is inside the quotation is what a friend in such a relationship said.
I simply think its ridiculous to assume that just becoz a handful of indians believ in gettin togethr more for the convenience of an almost complete relationship with a n- strings attached attitude is absurd!
Pls rediff, dnt try to idealise a system wich in reality is ridiculous and absurd.
A live-in-relationship is neither a step to understand one's partner better nor a substitute for marriage. It is a convenience just like marriage. It is a relationship just like marriage. The only difference being the social acceptance and legal issue. Some people are not comfortable with the idea of marriage. But want relationship. Want to live with the person he/ she loves. So whats wrong? Those who advocate marriage definitely mean, remain virgin (for both boy and girl), get married and have sex for two years, then have children and after that just live together because you are marred and have a child? May I ask where is marriage? It is only the so-called sanctity of it that most of the married couples live with than the actual marriage. There is nothing western about this concept. It is about convenience
RE:Whats Marriage?
by on Jul 17, 2007 01:20 PM Permalink
I have a question for ppl(including ppl at rediff who came with wonderfull idea) who support this idea....will they accept the same if their daughter/sister is into this
I request rediff editor for his comment....
I expect media to act with some social responsibility..if they say it happens in US...pl post this in rediff US website
RE:Whats Marriage?
by sangya pundir on Jul 17, 2007 01:42 PM Permalink
Stop posting that.. By the way I hav a question for YOU.. wud it be ok with u if ur father or brother or son was into it?? I assume it wud be.. since u only want to talk bout the girls involved. Are u also one of those ppl who treat their sons better than their daughters? I bet u are. sick!
RE:Whats Marriage?
by suryanarayanan d on Jul 17, 2007 02:07 PM Permalink
It is not the question of treating son better than daughter, some biological aspects asks for a girl to be brought up with less freedom than guys. A girl has her own limitations when compared to a guy in such a relationship. Do you think the circumstances for the guy and the girl would be same if they breakup when the couple are gonna have a child? and watch out before you comment tht ppl are sick..
RE:RE:Whats Marriage?
by aishwarya singh on Jul 17, 2007 02:51 PM Permalink
This guy doesn't even have the guts to mention his own name before posting messages like this. Wonder why?
RE:its ok.
by on Jul 17, 2007 04:08 PM Permalink
the topic has alwayz generated a lot of hoopla and alwayz will be ..people advocating botht the sides..well i am 21 year old guy ..a torch bearer of the present generation, and a proud indian nd spirutual and I dare to say that I have no problems with Live-In or other people doing it as long as they understand the maturity nd both persons mutually decide on this.If these two people are happy , what is wrong in this relationship??As told by many people here this system is'nt "western" or "american", it's within us it's general human tendency..i respect marriage nd believe it shud happen only wen u feel to get engaged nd not due to ur parent's pressure or in return of some green paper nd comodities.Stop being hypocrite and let each people live the life they want to(unless r not doing anything illegaly)..stop this moral policing...india has far greater problems to answer then to poke with two people living consensually....
Looks like rediff has run out of ideas to promote itself, its using cheap ideas to promote the website...I suggest rediff promote its matrimonial site than talk about such rubbish ... hope rediff guys read this and not block this msg
RE:Cheap ideas to promote rediff
by on Jul 17, 2007 01:01 PM Permalink
I agree, its practical but there is no reason to highlight it and promote it!...there are better things to discuss and ask ppls view...
RE:Cheap ideas to promote rediff
by Shailendra Suman on Jul 17, 2007 01:12 PM Permalink
nothing wrong in it to take and idea and view of the people of our beloved country.
RE:Cheap ideas to promote rediff
by on Jul 17, 2007 01:24 PM Permalink
Sir, i said there are better things to talk about pl understand what im trying to say...
RE:RE:Cheap ideas to promote rediff
by sangya pundir on Jul 17, 2007 01:45 PM Permalink
Its ok to foster discussion over topics. What do u think will be acheived by avoiding it? People should be able to discuss issues and express opinions over them.
