I am really not agree with this relation. This is really a bull-shit. I think a couple of meeting is enough to know anybody it doesn't make any sense to live with him and be physical with him/her.
In each and every relation we have to adjust and sacrifice whether the relation of Dad-Son, Mom-Daughter, Sister-Sister, Brother-brother, brother-sister. If we want to live happily we have to understand and love and respect each others feeling thats it.
Husband-wife relation is so sophisticated relation as well as loving relation. If we say mother, father, brother sister relation is made by GOD then this relation is also made in heaven and we have to accept it and adjust with it. We should not over-ruled the principal made by god.
RE:RE:Stupid Relation
by Suresh Kumar on Jul 17, 2007 05:42 PM Permalink
Well Ladies, Its a good thought but some how does not make much of a point. For one thing, none of the other people in the family than our life partner can we have emotional as well as physical relationship with. So your point of adjusting with everyone is good except for life partner as we have to not adjust but connect emotionally as well physically with our life partner. Otherwise, we will become almost incapable of adjusting with other people as our basic need of satisfaction (both emotional and mental) isn to met. The next thing is that, brother/sister/mother/father/son/daughter all come to only a certain stage along with you in life but only your life partner is there for you always whether he/she wants it or not. So its very important for that person who is with us to be able to decide whether it will make them happy to suffer for you or not. Again, whats the point if one is not staying happy with us or if we are not staying happy with our partner at all times. Thats why god gave you choice of choosing a partner who you can live with and decided your mother/father et all his own;knowing that we can adjust. Couple of meetings will reveal nothing but how the other person wants to project himself to you. If you believe a person based on couple of meeting and decide on his character and hope it will lost for life time, then GOD be with you at all times and save you both.
RE:Stupid Relation
by sampath mohapatra on Jul 17, 2007 05:43 PM Permalink
Quite frankly I do not understand the hypocrisy in our society. Dowry is ok, oh sorry can't use the word dowry, illegal. Anything given to the daughter all expensive items is tradition & custom. Spending a bomb on weddings is fine since it happens once in a LIFETME. If husband ill treats, you should adjust. If hubby has sex outside marriage its fine b'cos his wife cannot satisfy him. The concept of live has come in when women has started asserting their rights. Its not that it was not happening in earlier societies, only difference it was being done by the MALE species. Live in is nothing but a choice exerted by two consentual adults. It you equate it to free sex then it is your misdoing, since sex is available anyways all over India. As far as love is concerned it is there in a live in as well. Except a legal agreement, it is the same as marriage.
I am really not agree with this relation. This is really a bull-shit. I think a couple of meeting is enough to know anybody it doesn't make any sense to live with him and be physical with him/her.
In each and every relation we have to adjust and sacrifice whether the relation of Dad-Son, Mom-Daughter, Sister-Sister, Brother-brother, brother-sister. If we want to live happily we have to understand and love and respect each others feeling thats it.
Husband-wife relation is so sophisticated relation as well as loving relation. If we say mother, father, brother sister relation is made by GOD then this relation is also made in heaven and we have to accept it and adjust with it. We should not over-ruled the principal made by god.
RE:Stupid Relation
by just cool on Jul 17, 2007 05:43 PM Permalink
Really......... I don't think so. That is the reason we all are here and writing on this topic.
RE:Stupid Relation
by Prashant Shah on Jul 17, 2007 05:46 PM Permalink
V r simply hipocrites who do something and speak something. If iam wrong ask urself
RE:Stupid Relation
by just cool on Jul 17, 2007 05:16 PM Permalink
It means you are not agree with me. People who wants to live freely without any bondage and responsibility these people like this kind of relationship. But I tell you these kind of people never ever get happiness in their life
RE:Stupid Relation
by sampath mohapatra on Jul 17, 2007 06:09 PM Permalink
You do not have to worry about the happiness of others. Just take care of yours, ok. You are a caarying a heavy burden on your weak shoulders.
well, so many people are giving their own opinions.. fair enough.. good. But let me remind all of you, those who claim that live-in relations is not our indian culture, do very firmly want to have sex with young children irrespective of age factor. people tend to have sex with kids less than the age of 5 as well. all you ppl want too much of sex and now why do u blame the society claiming its not our culture. as long as you are perfect enough to tackle the issues between the couples, there is no problem in living together even not married. therefore, plz do not blame the society better change your mind and attitude and respect and value eachothers woudl be fine enough. hope all of you agree.
RE:don't blame on society
by sumati gayki on Jul 17, 2007 05:19 PM Permalink
Whatever u, pl. don't change the topic. I will not agree with u. Most of the ppl. here oppose this system, n they r correct. In our society sex has value only when it gives a name of marriage. Marriage is stand on trust. Will u trust a gal who has such type of relations with u before marraige ???
RE:don't blame on society
by sudipto chatterjee on Jul 17, 2007 05:48 PM Permalink
There is no question of not trusting a gal in this kind. Actually the prob. with us is not having enough strength to accept the truth.U want to say that this type of relation is not strong & may brack at any time.But don't u think that even after merriage also either lots of relation ought to go to an end or due to some weakness of one it remain but it is become more sadful than separation.
SEX i just a physical activity. Values are something an individual has. It trust is the standing point of a marriage so is a live in. And hey dont give a bull by saying that today's guys and guys are virgins when thay get into a marriage. Nobody would believe that rubbish. Change is something that you cannot stop. Societies, cultures all change over time. The freedom which you enjoy today is b'cos of revolutionaries from earlier generations. Learn to accept change. You may not want to chnge but there is nothing wrong in a live in.
RE:don't blame on society
by Prashant Shah on Jul 17, 2007 05:21 PM Permalink
As a matter of fact though a gal who has such type of relations she definitely will not reveal
First it's not our culture. It happens only in western countries, where "VISHWAS NAAM KI KOI CHEEZE HI NAHIN HOTI". I wud like to ask this SO-CALLED couples that after marriage will they allow their spouses to have male/female friends ?
RE:BIG NO
by just cool on Jul 17, 2007 05:20 PM Permalink
Prashant, I am seeing that you only comment, why don't you write. don't you think this relation not good in any manner.
RE:BIG NO
by Suresh Kumar on Jul 17, 2007 05:47 PM Permalink
Don't blame western countries. There are so many women in America who feel they will have sex only with their husband(mostly catholic women). Stop saying its only in our culture. Be innovative.
A mother was visiting her son who was doing a job in a different city. The son was living in with a female colleague in the same apartment. the son expected some trouble with his mother and also with his colleague so he asked his live in partner to look after his mother during her stay and not create trouble. When his mother raised her eyebrows at his roommate he explained to her " we are sharing accomadation only due to expenses and nothing else. Dont think anything else. we are just colleagues and thats all." His mother left after a few days. His live in partner complained the next day that her Silver Plate was missing and insisted that his mother must have taken it. The son rang up his mother and asked her about the silver plate and she replied " I know that you both are colleagues and nothing else and are sharing expenses and nothing else,but if she had slept in her own bed she would have discovered the plate under the matress." This story reflects the Live in relationship
RE:Live in Relationships
by asdf on Jul 17, 2007 07:47 PM Permalink
This is an old wine in new bottle by ravi nettem to endorse his views...i think its a democracy....any body is free to exercise his rights without hurting anybody....if live in relation ship is hurting some one, then it should be avoided...but i dont find any reason that live in relation is hurting anybody....All i can see is, those opposed to it, are either moral policing like Mullah's of Lal masjid and taliban or jealous, as they did not get a chance for a live in relationship...
RE:Live in Relationships
by Gopalkrishnan on Jul 17, 2007 05:10 PM Permalink
Good example. One can understand the purported sense of this story. This is against the principles and practices of what actually we are supposed to follow, as every relationship has its divine meaning. We are not mere animals but rational animal. We have a society and everyone is a part of it and has a role to play. Just say, father, mother, brother, sister - repeating will echo the worth of relationship. Everyone has a right to choose his/her mate, but it should be for the fullfilment of our individuality, personality which should be read with our parents name and identified with our integrity. None of us is supposed to waste our vitality and potential for mere transient pleasures to fulfill our biological need, instead it should be transformed into a meaningfull method of activity of life. If society is a 'pillar' families are the 'bricks' which it is made of and we are materials to concrete it. Espousing a live in arrangement as liberty it means you compromise your social responsibility with your own interest. Let wisdoem prevail and let us not encourage such folly instincts.
RE:Live in Relationships
by sampath mohapatra on Jul 17, 2007 06:04 PM Permalink
Mr. Krishnan, good cut, copy , paste. Where as it from. By the way what are the principles that we are supposed to follow and who made them?? I suppose you would be a strong believer in the caste system too. You would want to marry a girl from your own caste and gotra too. And you would consult a astrologer to match your horoscopes too. People like you are the bane of society. A society that allows freedom of thought is a forward moving society. Unfortunately people like you would not understand it. You are too closetted to let in anything inside your screwed up brains.
RE:Live in Relationships
by Suresh Kumar on Jul 17, 2007 05:55 PM Permalink
1. In what way do think the people living in are not socially responsible than the people married and living in? 2. Who says what we are supposed to follow? 3. Live in does not mean, they are not going to marry? What is exactly wrong with it?
your entire paragraph misses the point of why you don;t support other than saying we are not supposed to follow.
4. What makes you think that people living in together do that only for physical pleasure? Who said that to you?
5. If marrying and living together is allowed, then can we marry more than 1 person and live in?
6. Why Hindu gods have more than one wife? I'm indian and Hindu. So don;t blame other people.
Based on your witting, it appears that you are well educated and well thought. With all due respect in that direction, I challenge you to prove your point and i can prove you wrong in every aspect and every reason you give.
RE:Live in Relationships
by wilfred godfrey on Jul 28, 2007 10:15 AM Permalink
1.A family is secure and peaceful if all in t family feel secure and are at peace. Secrity i mean the security in relationship.The man shud feel secure abt his woman and vice versa.
In a society all men and women are not the same.Every one has their own moral values and maturity depending on how they are brought up and t environment in which they survive. Marriage is a standard which tries to provide security interms of relationship.It can be either flourish or flop depending on the commitment to marriage by a man or woman.For a responsible person, it facilites his commitment.and for an irresponsible person it demands commitment. Either way it tries to provide more security to both involved though t person under t yoke thinks otherwise.
Live in relationships also depend on t commitment of the man and woman involved but the bond here is more of ethical nature and both are not really careful abt their character , the relnship is too vulnerable to flop.the responsibility is too much on individual shoulders to take utter care that they r trustworthy of the other.
I see rediff changing the title of this disc in the homepage to "Live in is like prostitution"..etc... I suggest rediff change the title to "Live in is Free Sex" cos in prostitution some1 pays for the service offered....here its free sex!
im sad rediff has choosen such a cheap topic to increase its popularity... like rahul said there are other bigger problems in our society ..rediff can try to address such issues..
I would have preferred a topic like "How to make marriages work!" for disc and ask for views from successful couples
