Hi,I'm married before 1 year. I did love marriage. But now i think that is my mistake. B'coz my husband is lazy person & not a active person. I don't have financial support from his home & also from my home. Now sometimes i think I shld change my partner. What shld i do?
RE:Problem
by Jyoti Singh on Feb 08, 2007 02:24 PM Permalink
Oh.. No if you regreating now for this decision, means you have taken it in hurry- burry or bacuase of your infatuation, you took it.dnt reapeat it again by taking seperation desicion, try to convence your husband for right thinghs and doing the thinghs right,
RE:Problem
by madhu t on Feb 20, 2007 08:37 PM Permalink
Please please never ever go for luv marriages. Lluv is wastage of time as well as money. There is nothing such as luv. It's all illusion. By the time ou know the reality it may be too late. So listen to your parents. Please go for arranged marriages or be single and enjoy life. I think second option sounds good...........?
RE:Problem
by priya Sen on Feb 08, 2007 05:10 PM Permalink
I think you need to make your partner realize the problems you are facing in life by going single handedly without his support ...through a proper conversation.give him some time to change as rome was not built in a day....and if even then he doesn't, dump him for Good. it's better to go alone in life than carry an adult who simply doesn't want to change.
RE:RE:Problem
by Dipanjan Sen on Feb 09, 2007 09:58 AM Permalink
Please be a little patient. Just like the saying "be Kind to animals".. apply it to men also. "Be kind to men". Real challenge is to make the relationship work and not to break. Dont think of changing your partner just coz he is lazy.!!
I would like to know that if some women wants to make her career as well as their perosnal life balance what she qualities and activities she requires to satisfy employer as well as home. Don't you think if some women is working and they need help from their family to balance both. If some women is working, studying and have to give help in thier home in homemade activities don't u think their husband and their in-laws has to help her.
RE:relationship and career
by Jyoti Singh on Feb 08, 2007 02:18 PM Permalink
Its all beacuse of human nature that we expect a lot from our dears/peers. Nothing wrong in this but gives pain, once not get as expected.My experience is definitely you would need help if you working, let it come either side. Its all your management skills how you keep everything balance for a peaceful life.so far as work is concern, If you are in office try to give your best, once left for the day, be a good mom, wife and daughter in law...even forget that you have other commitments too.
there is lot of mis understanding between my husband & me due my motherlaw.now ihave left my husband home &i am having no job &ihave 2yrbaby.my husband is calling me but i am afraid to go back due my motherinlaw that she will creating many problems &even my husband support only to mother views not me. what should i do now? motherinlaw is ready to do second marriage to his son .
RE:dispute between relatinships
by Jyoti Singh on Feb 08, 2007 02:10 PM Permalink
Its very general infact, mostly husbands doesnt tell anything to his mother, though she is wrong. The ultimate solution is not the one what you choose, left husband house. My suggestion is to be diplomatic, do favour to your mother in law in front of your husband, try to please her in front of him, never show him that you dnt like your mother in law, try to get his confidence in you so that he would bound to realise that somethibng is wrong with his mother only, once he will start telling to his mother problem will sorted out.
RE:dispute between relatinships
by shaina vaity on Feb 08, 2007 01:13 PM Permalink
Dear Friend I think leaving house is not a solution you need to think about your future as well as about your baby later wha will be her future. Due to your problems you'll cant spoil childs future. There is solution to every problems with little compromise problem can be solved and it can make your childs future too. Every women has a dream of her married life but shuttering it later just for a misunderstanding is wrong. Your husband wants you back home it means he loves you and want to lead his life with you and does not want to get married again this shows that he cares for you and in this he will not listen to his mother. I think you should think even about your husbands future too know everything is in your hand just compromise and go back. May be there must be something good in your fold its God's will
RE:dispute between relatinships
by rebel on Feb 09, 2007 01:04 AM Permalink
Hi, This is a common problem in marriages. This usually occurs because your Mother in law may feel insecure. Similarly you will feel insecure as well. Your husband wants to live with you but you must realise that it is hard for him to take a stand against his mother. I think you should speak to him and tell him the things that make you really upset. You will have to compromise on a number of things but you must know where to draw the line. Your husband will not forget the good you do to keep the family together. I suggest you meet your husband and discuss the issue. There is no point in running away. If you think things are very bad and you don't have a chance then it is better to legally separate and get on with your lives. But it appears from your statement that you and your husband want to be together, so make the most of it. Remember you have only one chance to make this work so make the most of it. All the best
if a woman doen't take care of her own child then simply i will call her a bad human being. talk of career aside, its a natures gift and their own choice to have children.
RE:woman and career
by amit khurana on Feb 08, 2007 10:58 AM Permalink
Hi ravi,i don't agree with you Women can work better and manage home better then MEN. Why can't Men as Father take care of the child is it written somewhere that only women should take care of the child. Grow up man
RE:RE:woman and career
by ARU on Feb 08, 2007 11:12 AM Permalink
truly agree with u. child is respensibility of both parents. father's cant put whole resp on mother's. if they consider them equal part of family then they must have to agree that they have equal share of resp in all aspects.
RE:woman and career
by on Feb 09, 2007 10:59 AM Permalink
You are are very true. A child is a natures gift.But both the parents are responsible for him. To take care of a child is not the responsibility of mother alone. A father is equally responsinble for his child.If a women is working that doesn't mean she is not caring for her child.Infact she plays a double role both at home and office. Stay at home and take care of a child. I bet MEN can never do so which women can do even after working for hours in the office. So its wrong to call them bad human being simply they are working. It important to give quality time rather quantity time. by EKA
