Leave the organisations that disallow marriage and datinf between colleagues,if you are a part of the romance.
Romance is one of the nice things in life.Some of these greedy employers cannot tolerate and they go on to an extent to make the employee's life hell by putting some law or the other.
Dating a collegue and romancing in the office are two different things. Office is certainly not a place to date.....but I believe that we can date a collegue and even go ahead getting married....what needs to be seriously looked into is that that it shouldn't effect your professional lafe n environment.
trust me guys it can be dangerous and can turn lethal also...better cotrol ur kuchiii kooo feelings for perosn outside ur company..normally one tends to pass time..but thats the trap///tp na hoke it becomes hot topic for gossiping...be careful...its a no no to kuchii kooo in office.......
RE:Kuchiiii kooo at work
by Sachin Jauhari on Sep 13, 2006 03:36 PM Permalink
Unethical to love or have an affair before marriage????!!! What is this? Stone age?
RE:Kuchiiii kooo at work
by anamika on Sep 13, 2006 04:46 PM Permalink
I think the person wants to say its unethical to have affair after marriage (xtra marital) hahaha
RE:Kuchiiii kooo at work
by Shahenil on Sep 16, 2006 05:30 PM Permalink
Hmmm Mr. Nair and everybody else, lets not get into issues like talak and stuff. Am sure most of the people dont even know the full thing behind talak and multiple wives and stuff, so lets not criticise anything which we dont know and create more issues.
This is a DB for affairs in marriage not about muslims saying talak 3 times and/or hindus barring women to go in temples etc.
Dating in work place is cool and so is flirting depends on the limits and who sets the limits.. ok .. whatever
RE:Kuchiiii kooo at work
by Murli Nair on Sep 15, 2006 06:49 PM Permalink
Dear Mr. Nazir,
Though I defend you right to your views and to express them, i think you should admit the fact that divorcing a helpless wife merely by uttering talak is amoral, not to speak of primitive. As for not wanting to stay together, who decides it ? Only the man ?
RE:Kuchiiii kooo at work
by Debashis on Sep 13, 2006 04:45 PM Permalink
I think it depends on the office environment.If there are huge employees in any company then that wil not come under observation much where a lot of similar minded will do the same thing but if in any organisation where scope is limited & then if u do this then u will get noticed by others & your another colleague can fell you into trouble or if you have no control over all situations then you will be at stake.
RE:Kuchiiii kooo at work
by shirish on Sep 13, 2006 04:20 PM Permalink
We are living in 21st century India not in medival age or Kabul. Its better to have an affair & marry so that the marriage life is success not burden.
RE:Kuchiiii kooo at work
by Ramkumar on Sep 15, 2006 05:33 PM Permalink
Oh yeah (subj unethical to love or date b4 marriage)
Where abouts is your office, I have to spread this word to all parents and husbands and ask them to send their daughter/wife to the office where your type of guys work. Let them be safe until 5 in the evening.
Seriously saying, love in office is going to affect productivity.
Good thing about affairs has its own merits and demerits:
Merits: They will come to the office on time Will sit in the office long (even after office hours) Will try to be as decent as possible Will be very well dressed all the time. Will complete his work so that the boss doesnt shout at him/her infront of his/her partner.
Demerits: It is unethical to love or date b4 marriage.
RE:Affairs in the office
by nazir on Sep 15, 2006 01:30 PM Permalink
Mr.Dev this is specically for you...i think u r not so mature enough to understand the word talaak...a person can only give talaak when his married life is creating problems for him and dor his partner..in short both the parties may not b happy due to some reason or the other...hence my personel feeling is in such situation....the best thing is to get separated...and the word for separation is Talaak..which in english is called Divorce....
& secondly having multiple wives...hmm so u know that muslims are permitted to have multiples wives....but do you know the condition of having multiple wives...it is permissible to marry more than once only with those partners who has no one to look after.... for example a widow who has no one to look after...a physically handicap person who has no one to look after...or to any women who is in desperate need of help...but no one is there to help her out...in this situtaion islam has given the permission to help them by marrying them and giving them the support that they need....i hope i m very clear....and 1 free suggestion to u...do not point fingers at others when u r not completely aware about the facts....
RE:Affairs in the office
by Tanushree on Sep 13, 2006 05:09 PM Permalink
I am surprised Rediff even allowed this message to be posted on the message board. 'Love and dating unethical before marriage?' Rediff, I appreciate the fact that you are trying to allow freedom of expression but do check your standards. This is highly diappointing.
RE:Affairs in the office
by Dev on Sep 13, 2006 05:40 PM Permalink
Unethical??????/ How do you define "ethics" --pls let us know. If I love and want a person in my life and commit for long term relationship which can eventually lead to perfect legal marriage--whats wrong in that?
Is it highly ethical to get rid of your better half just by saying "Talak" three times !! Is it ethical to have multiple wives (legal polygamy !!)??????
RE:Affairs in the office
by Pavan on Sep 16, 2006 03:08 AM Permalink
Nazir...i want to ask u....when a person(male here) says talak...does he wait for the female to accept it ?? will he stay back if the female does not want to leave him ??
RE:Affairs in the office
by Raj on Sep 16, 2006 06:28 PM Permalink
Radha - Sure women too should be able to have multiple husband. Example - Draupadi, she had five.
Regarding the Talak factor, Sure I feel it will be the best way to walk out of a failing relationship. No courts and no fuss. It is all over in jiffy.
Regarding Affairs in Office - Not advicable, At office one makes money, Give that the top priority and attention.
Regarding Marrying multiple wives and to maintain all of them requires a lot of energy and money. Especaly if somebody needs help and you marry her, it is definitly a couragious decision, and much better than having affairs. At least there is a ownership of resposibility of a System in place.
Affairs are basically diversions in life, everybody needs them. Some last, some fail miserably. But at the end one owns up to his or her act. That costs a lot, either in form of a existing relationship or moniterily. It is better to be anchored monitarily, so work place is better of withouts affairs.
But the irony is one gets the time and space to know each other only there. So if one is anchored on the objective of why he or she is there at the work place then a affair will be a much needed "breaks".
RE:Affairs in the office
by radha on Sep 16, 2006 03:42 AM Permalink
Mr.Nazir, you have given explanation for marrying many wives, is this valid only for guys, can the girls also do the same, do you think its ethical to do this, why do only men have such rights??? i seriously don't understand the logic!!!
RE:Affairs in the office
by Md. Yazed Alam Khan on Oct 04, 2006 04:24 PM Permalink
Aslaam Waleikum Md. Hanif, How can a person belonging to Muslim community take part in this matter? We know that the whole world is heading towards disaster, as the Holy Quran says...the day of Qayamat is not very far away!!! When the ground will be as red like the colour of copper and the Universe will come down on Earth..and so on..just think..only few people would be saved...its only upto God, whom he wants to save!!! we are monoliths and certainly according to the teachings of Islam, we should not hurt anybody's feelings, but should not take part in the activities, where we are not supposed to.
For the ones, who raised the topic of "Talaq", I must say that..its a "mazhabi" word and the inner meaning is significant. I am running in my 29 and I still didn't marry and not having any affair..'coz, love affairs b4 marriage is strictly prohibited in Islam. These are good theories and if can be maintained, is good for us. Those Muslim guys who do it are leading astray and heading towards disaster!!! No one can save them. But, we are not going to imitate the West...so, I must say, if you are a true Muslim, restrict yourself from taking part in this topic..Collect views from others.
Having Relationship with opposite sex at work place can affect productivity but it can reflect positively also , may be a factor to enhance morale , motivation and reason for working .
all depends person's attitude and quality of thinking , vary person to person as per their nature .
Management need to maintain personal psycho info account of their human resource for their purposefull managerial action .
RE:Not so good idea
by sudhir bhatt on Sep 13, 2006 04:48 PM Permalink
An affair which results in a long relationship is good. But affair in office termed as "flirting" or "just for fun" or "extra marital affair" is totally unacceptable. not only productivity but also the meaning of a healthy relationship is lost.
RE:Not so good idea
by ashish on Sep 15, 2006 11:27 AM Permalink
Well having an affair is not bad and such things do happen coz professionals now spend major part of the day in the office !!! But One issue or problem that they have to avoid is EXTRA MARITAL AFFAIR if u r already loving someone and still seeking /flirting and his/hers life is not less than a DOG'S LIFE. People should remember ROLLING STONE GATHERS NO MASS !!!!!!!
