Living alone, yes its something one faces some time or the other. Its not about building your character and confidence. Its not about making your career and making the right move in life. Its not being self dependent. Its not about managing your money wisely. Its not about missing the luxuries of life. I work in a very reputed bank in the city of Mumbai. Yes Mumbai, a city full of a lot of people with whom you can hang around. I had the confidence and self dependability, the experience of hardship, the skill of managing money when I was with my family. Living alone is not at all enterprising, whatever reasons you give. Its like people who stay with their family want to move out and those who are never with family want to be with them. I have been on both sides of this river called "Loneliness", so ask me.... you just need to be with someone. Luxuries, money, confidence and stuff like that are not everything in life. Being with someone with whom you can share your moments; happy or sad, is what all of us should be looking at.
~ VJ Yudi adds, "Don't leave your family for the heck of it. Your parents' home is a good place to be. Live alone for the right reasons, if it helps you grow as a person, for your career, for better prospects, not because you want to get away from family."
I am totally agree with Yudi on this. Thanks Rediff for the nice post.
Single parent, working & living alone at Mauritius , mother of two loving well settled children feels that its an attitude of mind which enables you to survive against all odds.The Mantra- Do not expect anything from any relationship ,& everything recieved becomes beautiful,it may be a small courtesy from a grumpy neighbour ! after all its your choice to live alone,& there,s a differance in living alone & being lonely!
RE: living alone
by Dbhowmick on Oct 27, 2005 04:06 PM Permalink
U just said it..do not expect anything from any relationship....I guess that mantra is the key to success...Thanks for it
Here are some tips: 1. Select a safe neighborhood. One CANNOT stress on this enough! 2. Learn to cook basic daal, chaaval, sabzi, meat. One cannot live on Maggie alone and eating out everyday is too expensive and not very healthy. And yes, keep biscuits, cereal, fruits, soup mixes at hand. 3.Develop your social security blanket. There are going to be days when you feel totally alone and depressed. Talk to family and friends. 4. Develop a healthy routine. Coming home and plonking in front of the TV till dinner time does not qualify ! 5. Pay your bills on time and for heaven's sake, stick to a budget. Financial hassles are the LAST thing you need !
I lived by myself for 3 years and worked 2 jobs to pay rent, groceries etc. I did everything by myself, cooking, cleaning, groceries, paying bills, maintaining my car, doing taxes ! It was tough, but the experience helps ! One becomes very independent and self-sufficient. Looking back, I sometimes wonder how I did it, but it really it makes you realize the value of your family, home-cooked healthy food and loving relatives.
RE:Living alone? Survival mantras
by karthik on Oct 22, 2005 07:11 PM Permalink
hi milli, how r u? i hope that u r great. as u told that living lonely is some wht bad where no body is there to talk dont think in that way, there r more ways to be happy and u have the german language for use, it depends on making friends at your place if u dont find it one, then use yahoo or other things but i dont think soo personally if u r having friends that is better make indian friends there at your place its good. after completing your studies just go to london or any other place or come back to india u got soo many friends here.
RE:Living alone? Survival mantras
by anup on Oct 23, 2005 08:22 PM Permalink
Hi, Me too living alone in germany..!! Yeah, its kind of boring at times..but I think one must make the best use of opportunities and learn new things..new ways of life, etc. There is a saying 'Loneliness can make one either 'very good' or 'very bad'...!! So if one develops the right attitude one can turn out to be very good indeed..! Have a nice time and become a better individual thru this experience. Good Luck anup
hi everyone.. am mili living in germany alone for about 2 years..n for me living alone is pathetic..with no one to listen to u talk to u..but still i have to do it..coz of education.. i live by a scholarship, n do almost everything of my own...thats what a student can afford..
RE:living alone...is pathetic
by Tera Marie Vicari on Oct 23, 2005 02:10 AM Permalink
I feel for you! I understand cause it is even more lonely in the states!
RE:living alone...is pathetic
by Avik Chakravorty on Oct 23, 2005 11:33 PM Permalink
I can relate to your experience since I have also live alone for a while in the US. Having relatives helps a little bit but not much. I guess you are homesick. There are a lot of Indians in the UK in general and in London in particular. Thats what I have been told.
RE:living alone...is pathetic
by Manish Saxena on Oct 23, 2005 04:36 AM Permalink
Hi mili,
I can understand you at least about Germany. I am also doing same as you in Germany. But I decided to go back after few days. Not because of staying alone, I think I can do better than this in India and for India. But I will keep coming to this place.
RE:living alone...is pathetic
by ankit on Oct 22, 2005 10:51 PM Permalink
So True.
we (friends)used to troop thru out the city in rainy weather, visit near by happening spots, when in india... Now although, spending the whole day in office (NJ) , night's and week ends r killing here.
RE:living alone...is pathetic
by Swastik Chandra on Oct 22, 2005 10:44 PM Permalink
I completely agree with what Tanya has said. I too live in Derby in UK and I can completely understand what every student feel.
Although life seems to be more exciting here more discos and more lights to life but, there is no peace you always need to have someone to share your thoughts your feelings which is completely a Black Hole here.
Again if you are living alone and separate from family that makes you self confident and independent, which I guess is the key to success. You come across many type of humans and wonderful characters, you become more mature and list goes on.....
I would say to everyone that please please do not forget your background. Wherever you live in this world make it a point to go back your home and meet your friends and family for sure. This will keep your energy high and your confidence will always be rocking.
living alone...is pathetic
by venkatesh on Oct 22, 2005 07:36 AM Permalink
U R correct, Mili on the pros & cons of living alone in abroad for so long. Like U, me too living alone in China since 1997 and I cld understand all that U said on "living along......is pathetic". But, what cld we do? We selected this life and so we need to face the things as they come to us as they are. For me, what hurts me a lot is, having nobody with us to share all our love, affections, emotions, ideas, etc. U R most welcome to have a chat/mail with/to me thru 'ksv19641111@yahoo.com' OR 'ksv19641111@rediffmail.com'
I am kiran living lonely thats is without parents since 8 years . I had leave in a distant place for studying Engineering than job The way i had problems that ur health is not nice it is the difficult time that u face because nobody will be there to lookout at sometimes u i will be not able to go outside but u have to
when any house problem such as water it will be a difficult thing to solve but we have to adjust to all the things by the way i became a good cook along this period lots more to share but no time
Living alone......... people are away from their hometown dut to some reasons....career ,study bla bla.... It is very difficult to stay alone in this world.. especially for Girl's those are very simple in nature...For career they are coming out from their family.....They are struggling a lot to get a job ,to get a good PG,for food...etc..to get a good friend,who is very nearer or dearer with you... In this case Guys are taking the advantage...... Girl's those are coming out from their home for studies and job...be careful... Be strong...befor doing anything u just think ... do not beleive anybody.... This world is tolly changed u can not beleive anybody...I have lot of things to share....
i came to london to do my m.b.a... travelling miles gave me a feeling that i have achieved something.. till u earn ur bread and friends..ur life seems to be a bed of roses.. searching for houses.. hunting for jobs.. surviving in the cold.. it seems to be more than a nightmare.. missing those cozy beds..warm lap of mother..care of brother..love of sister..lovely power cuts.. coin box public telephones.. stars in the sky...i miss u my INDIA... Hope that day is not far away roaming on roads..eating mouth watering pani puri. woh barsat.. bhigi bhigi raat...
RE:living alone.... boon or bane?
by Rauf on Oct 23, 2005 07:18 AM Permalink
hey..
it sure is tough to live alone, esp. wen ur in a place like London... n honestly its gettin colder by the hour here! btw, u seem to have a very nice writing skill! good luck with ur mba..
RE:living alone.... boon or bane?
by Manish Saxena on Oct 23, 2005 04:41 AM Permalink
Thanks Tanya for remembering India ...my feelings are same as you Manish
RE:living alone.... boon or bane?
by Prashant on Oct 23, 2005 01:55 AM Permalink
I came to London about a 1.5 years back in search of better career and experience. I've always been daddy's boy who got everything done through his dad and now I've learnt to handle and make decisions that affect me directly. So far it has been a rewarding experience but I do consult my parents and brother which also involves explaining to them and understanding myself pros and cons of that decision. I've left the nice cool shade of my parents home and made my parents proud by becoming independent.
RE:living alone.... boon or bane?
by Preetham on Oct 22, 2005 03:22 PM Permalink
I see where you are coming from Tanya but its a great eye opening experience. You learn so much, something you might not when living in a sheltered environment.
Besides I am sure there are things about London you enjoy like taking the tube...ok, maybe not but travelling around europe, experiencing a different culture and instead of pani puri you got fish & chips ;-)
